As 2009 is about to take its last breath....

..most of us would like to look back and reflect on what we have done with all the 365 1/4 days that we were given.
What great achievements have we made? How many tears have we shed? What would we change if we were given a chance to turn back the clock?

2009 has been a good year for me. Not that I achieved anything great, but the fact that I'm still breathing gives me all the reasons to be grateful.

I'm gonna miss the year, that am sure of. And I'm going to cry for all the 365 1/4 days that I will never again see. But I'm not going to wish for a miracle to turn back the hands of time and erase the mistakes I've made, or to have again the greatest times I've had during the year. What I'm going to do is accept whats gone, what I can't change.... I'm going to go on and enter the new year with all the glee, live each moment like the last, and cherish every molecule of air that I'll inhale.

Happy 2010 to everyone!!

Joe McElderry on top of the World!

From the first day I saw this young, shy, gorgeous, dimpled, blue-eyed guy with a smile of an angel and a voice so unbelievably sweet auditioning for X factor, I knew Instinctively, and believed he was going to win.

Funny enough, nobody thought so in the beginning. All my friends said there was no way Joe was going to win cause he lacked star quality.

But I never changed my mind. I totally believed in Joe.

And every week he delivered the best. Each performance pyrotechnical in its own way.

I'm glad the British nation finally saw the light and the X chromosome in Joe and made his dream come true tonight!

I can't wait to buy his single. The guy is gonna be massive!!!

***And thanks to Joe's win, I'm now a 100 euro richer after my friend Tendai lost the bet. She thought Daniel was gonna win. When I suggested a 10 euro bet, she laughed and said I was cheap. So we raised the amount to a 100 quid...she should have known I come from a musical background and know an incredible voice when I hear one...

Crying over spilt milk....Irish potatoes..

Oh the magic thrill of scribbling...
Well, what can I say, this is what I love doing the most! Scribbbbbble....

Anyway, the hilarious episode is: almost a week later, the Irish potatoes are still giving out acid about their unfortunate failure to make it to South Africa for the 2010 world cup.
Ok, the French goal was faulty, even I saw it, but tough. Its all water under the bridge now. Even if the Irish were to produce a scream loud enough to deafen God's ears, the clock still wouldn't be turned. Deal with it people!

What cracks me up most is the fact that they won't let it go, even though they know nothing can be done about it. This morning at work, this guy came all red in the face, swearing...
I was so sure the reason behind his scary mood had something to do with his wife - probably he was denied his early morning conjugal rights...I was so wrong!

If you are Irish, and reading this, remember dung happens! I know it stings to have to wait for another bloody 4 years for another world cup, but its ok.
You know your guys played splendidly, you know in everyone's eyes you are the real winners, so don't waste anymore of your energy on spilt milk....

Hallo.

My graceful darling, how I missed you!
The Doha adventure was amazing. I'll tell you all about it soon. Right now I'm feeling quite sluggish, and my scribbling needs some polish.
But other than that, everything's been quite ok.
I slept most of the day, today. You know how planes always leave me lethargic and sleepy.
Anyway, I just thought I should give you one big hallo kiss.

See ya soon.

Alexandra's "Bad boys"

"I know am playing with fire but I don't mind... coz bad boys are always catching my eye.."

Wow...., I say, Wow!
I knew Alexandra Burke's debut single was going to be a blast, but I didn't expect it to be this good!
I love the song "Bad boys".....its...., lets see, can I use the word "delicious" to describe how good it is...lol? Yeah, for me Bad boys is one delicious track!
I am horribly fussy when it comes to my favourite music. If I don't fall in love with a song the first time its played, I know its definitely out, forgotten. Just the way I am when it comes to matters of the heart; it just has to be at first sight....
Everything about "Bad boys" is a million dollar worth. Actually priceless. The lyrics, which I'm sure most girls can relate to, are good...., very good, actually. The only adjective that justifies Alex vocals in this song is "sublime". Surely the girl put all she got into this masterpiece. And the rhythm is just heavenly. It takes me to that peaceful place....
What I love more about the song is that besides being incredibly excellent, its also danceable.
Its unfortunate dancing isn't one of my specialties.... I suck big time at it. But for everyone else who can bend the skeleton, thats the song for you....make it proud, make Alex proud!

Big up to Alexandra! She surely makes her X factor mentor's new single sound.....aaaarrgh...I better not say.

****This is Whitney Houston week on X factor. Yes, Whitney the legend.... Can somebody pliz fastforward the days? Coz I just can't wait!!!!!*********

The others.

We wake up every morning from our restful nightly slumber happy and content that we are still breathing.
We look at the sky, and the beautiful green world surrounding us and thank the stars we were given the gift of life.

But what if this whole thing called life is nothing but an illusion?
What if we are actually dead, and our houses are really our graves, and this whole world a massive graveyard?
What if birth is really death, and death, birth, and the ones we think dead, are the ones who are truly alive?

What if we are actually ghosts, phantoms; troubled corpses in denial?

What if Nicole Kidman's movie "The Others" is actually a true story?
I think Stephen King has messed with my soul...
***no need to be spooked out of your wits...its just a possibility****

"The Chipanti mystery"

For reasons that seem to make sense only to me, I ditched the world's sickest social chain; Facebook.

Anyway, my sister who is one big FB sicko thinks I'm totally losing my marbles and missing all the fun by staying away from the network.
So she makes sure she rings me 4 or 5 times a day just to let me know what her fellow sickos are up to. I tell you, its always a crack to hear the latest mental updates...

A few days ago she rang me saying, "ndikukuuza Han, I think aMalawi atopa ndi ulemu."
I asked her why she thought so, and she said every person in Malawi had "Chipanti" as their status update.
I laughed coz the name Chipanti reminded me of a certain mischievous incident in Secondary School.....
Anyway, I told my sis that maybe it was some sick new song or something....
She agreed with me, and said whilst choking on her mirth, "for real Han, umuuze mzako wadzina lamisala uja kuti achepetse ma drugs..."
I was lost...
"haibo Esie, whatchu mean by that, mzanga wakenso uti?"
And then I remembered..."Charmer"
My friend Mkotama, whom I nicknamed Charmer is the only person I could think of, who is crazy and talented enough to come up with such a song..
I couldn't stop laughing.

....it turns out, Charmer isn't guilty as charged. Chipanti is not even a song, but some freaky lunatic in Malawi who was raping and killing women.

Back with a big bang!

Eish, I seriously have a terrible period pain. It feels like there's somebody inside my tummy, viciously pulling my guts apart....
But really and truly, "aunt flow" is traumatic on her own without all the aggressive, abnormal abdominal pain. Lord have mercy on us women!

Let me not waste time with nonsense and get to the point;

Last year's X factor winner, Alexandra Burke has just wowed the crowd with her "Bad boy" stage performance. It really was unbelievably wowish!
I loved Alex from the first time I saw her on stage bidding for her X factor crown. I thought she was so sweet and lovable, not to mention beautiful.

It surely was fantastic seeing my baby back on that stage..., where it all started from. She's grown so much both as a person and an artist in such a short time.
I already had predicted a dazzling future for her before she even scooped the most craved for crown. Now all thats left is a debut album which am so buying the minute its out.

Shite, tummy still hurting......
Nite!

A slothful Sunday.

Sundays are normally sickeningly snoozy, but today snatches the cake. Its seriously sloshed!
I'm beginning to realise that an idle mind is truly a dangerous devil's workshop. Right now, if somebody was to make a surprise visit into my thoughts they'd be electrocuted in a sec. Yeah, some thoughts can be shocking!

Human beings are indeed the most pathetic creatures on this planet. Besides having shocking thoughts, imagine all the suffering we have to go through, all the crappy situations we come face to face with....all for what? Nothing in the end.
I'd definitely have loved to be an animal. Not a farm animal, of course, coz of the trauma of being made into "ndiwo", but surely a dog, (Britney's chihuahua) or a cat.
Think of the simplicity in the little lives of mice....? Imagine not earning a bloody living, but living blissfully in naked ignorance, thieving people's food for survival without the risk of being locked up in some claustrophibic jail cell? Thats what I call happiness and contentment.

Anyway, I advise you not to go deep into the last passage. You can, if you want, but I doubt you'll be able to come back out.

X factor is back...full throttle, boy! Simon Cowell is as usal being Simon Cowell. What with comments like, " that was crazy bad!" and "that is what I call a serious musical nightmare". I just love the dude, man. Even with his ridiculous haircut, I still love him.
I admit being heartlessly racist and feminist, but my favourite contentast this year is white and a guy. Joe, thats his name. Gosh, the guy sings with an effortless incredibility and is depressingly adorable! Who would seriously have it in them to hate that heartbruisingly gorgeous smile? Joe to win!

Great news to all tennis fiends; Justine Henin is back on tour! Can't wait to see her kicking ass. Of course, with the exception of Serena's...

I gotta go now. X factor is now on Tv...

Khoswe wachitsamunda.

Nkhaniyi ikupitirira kuchokera ku yahoo bulogi (pepani koma yahoo ndi blog zilibe Chichewa chake).
Monga ndinalongosolera, makoswe amwa mowa wa a munanga. Panopa nyumba yonse ili gwedegwede, makoswe aledzera, chisangalalo chodzadza tsaya, amunanga ali msunamu kuno.
Makoswe agenda kupolisi ndi nthangala za chamba. Kuba mowa?
Sindikudziwa.............

***nkhaniyi ndi yeniyeni**

All I have.

Home is always best. Its where the heart is.

I've always said if it were up to me, I'd have remained home.

Being so far away from family and friends can be so lonely, no matter how splashy the lifestyle.

I must say I am one of the lucky ones away from home who is not as lonely.

I happen to have a gorgeous sister who is always there when I need someone to talk to, someone to "animal-sit" (babysit).

I also happen to have the three little animals who most of the times drive me up the wall, being naughty, but also keep me smiling everytime I look in their little innocent eyes.

They are all I have, really.

Homework.

I really feel like a hypocrite.
Orama's brought Religious Studies' homework. I'm supposed to explain to him about God's love for us all.
The problem is, I am atheist, and this God thing does not exist in my book...tough!
My son is only 4yrs, and goes to a Roman Catholic School. If I tell him there is no God, he will end up being confused for his Teacher's already fed him with all that holy nonsense. And if I teach him what I was taught as a child by my Sunday School teachers, I'd never forgive myself for being a hypocrite.

What to do....?

"What if's."

....in the end, I find out what it is precisely that drives people over the edge...
The urge to rewrite history, bend it a bit, is immensely intense in human beings.
We all have had moments where things did not turn out the way we wanted, or planned. Moments where wrong decisions and choices were made. Instead of accepting fate and go on with the cruel hourglass, we tend to torture ourselves thinking of what we could have done differently given a second chance. What we normally forget is the fact that no matter how fervently we wish for that lost moment, we can never recapture it. Its like going going around in a circle. Tough!
Well, life is tough.

You want the quickest way to get a bed in a psycho unit?
Try obsessing about "what ifs".

Beautiful unions.

This world only has a few families that have the full description of the word BEAUTIFUL.

You look at the two people in love, with a chemistry so tangible, and you begin to see love from a totally different point of view.

You look at the result of their love, (their kids, ofcourse) and you just run out of words.

Will Smith and his other half, Jada Pinkett should be one of the few Hollywood couples who surely have it all; looks, talent, loaded back accounts, and ofcourse a family so perfectly beautiful.

I was watching Jaden Smith's recent interview with Ellen Degeneres, and I tell you, I had my mouth wide open in awe. How could the kid be so heartbruisingly cute, and possess a talent so massive? Its so intriguing.

Will and Jada's first son is only 10 years old, but everyone can predict a brightest future ahead of him. The kid is beyond cute, he can dance like a superstar and he is very funny. Perhaps funnier than his dad....lol

His sister Willow also has stars written all over her soul.

So admirable.

Nursing a bruised soul.

One undesirable disadvantage of being abnormally passionate about something is that you put your heart at a great risk of disappointments, making yourself achingly vulnerable.
But would I rather be passionless to save myself from pain?
Nah, abnormal passion is what makes me, 'ME'.

Serena Williams failure to defend her US Open Grand Slam title has left my soul unbelievably bruised.
I am so badly aching!
Nothing can describe this thunderous rage I have in my soul right now.
I keep pinching myself to make sure am completely awake. Oh, yeah, I am wide awake.....
But besides the loss, the verbal abuse and the anti-climax of the whole match, I totally had a good time watching the Slam!
It was surely worth all the sleep deprivation.

And to Serena; you know am still your number 1 fan...ALWAYS!

Well.....

When I logged onto the blog, I had a crystal clear pic of what I wanted on the page. But now that am on it, I can't get my mind to open up.
I want to write about Big Brother Revolution, how obsessed everyone back home is with it, but I am not that big a fan. I just don't get why everyone's making such fuss....
Big Brother has become so stale over the years. Ofcourse the producers have tried a number of twists to make it more interesting, but that hasn't helped much in attracting viewers.

Gosh, my mind is not really into what am writing. I wanna write about how I feel, how am badly am aching for my gorgeous pair of 'Stilletos'.....

Orama's first day of School.

When I looked at my first born son this morning, looking all grown up and dashing in his School uniform, I couldn't help but cry; tears of pride, tears of joy.

My lil boy, finally going to School, I felt really proud!

Anne Frank.

I have yet to come across another author who brings the Holocaust into a terrific, clear 3D picture... Anne Frank takes us deeper into the struggle of human souls in adversity.

The Diary of this Jewish young girl was part of my course study in my last year of Secondary School. I remember being the only one in my class who actually was fascinated with the book. My friends kept teasing me about having so much in common with the young Writer. I never thought it true.

But after reading the Diary again a decade later, I can in a way relate to what my friends meant.....

Only I know I could never have come up with something so precocious at 13. And I definitely would never have been strong enough to endure being confined in such a desperate place as the Secret Annexe for two whole years. Boredom would have killed me in less than an instant.

How many young people would stay in a horrifically caustrophic situation for more than a two years and still keep up their spirits?

Despite the overwhelming fear of getting caught, and the crappy conditions in the Secret Annexe, Anne never lost her wit. She never lost hope, either.

Aldof Hitler's cruelty surely costed the world a genius; a veritable idylist!

Cockroaches.

Really and truly, cockroaches have absolutely no manners. Actually, of all living creation, they should be the most mannerless.
And then I wonder: why would some human beings, with all the intellectual capabilities in possession, ever want to behave like cockroaches; demented, ill-mannered cockroaches, for that matter. How is that even possible?

How I missed you....

My darling Graceful,

I can't believe how long it has been since I last paid any attention to you, my most patient,most loyal, most forgiving......(I could go on with the best adjectives in your honour) friend. I am truly sorry. It certainly wasn't my intention to go on such a loud pause for so long, I just have been lunatically busy for the past few days. But I so missed you!

Not much has happened in my life so far. I know the last time I communicated I was in tears about PMS from satan's place of origin. Well, you should be delighted to know I'm alright, now. My abnormal hormones are at their best behaviour, therefore, no irritability, confusion or tears. My unpredictable emotional barometer has also made an effort to keep some peace, at least, thank god!

Graceful, have you ever been in a situation where you feel happy, but at the same time sad?
Orama starts big school next week; thats the whole pleasant, but not-so-pleasing story...
I've forever waited for my boy's first day of school, first day in uniform...., but now that that first day is imminent, I can't help feeling overwhelmingly teary. I feel like am willingly sacrificing my little boy's innocent ass to evil school bullies. Oh, dear, why do they have to grow up so fast?

Not to be rude, or feministic, and you probably don't think so, but all men are pathetic hypochondriacs! There is only one cause for their Hypochondria and thats; LAZINESS.
Men get headaches when asked to do dishes, diarrhoea, whenever its their turn to do laundry. And once the old domestic story touches a babysitting base, men go on temporary coma (as if they never enjoyed the baby production process).
But have you ever noticed all the time they are supposed to be sick they never refuse food? Not even once. "Koma odwala samadya". And any slight mention of the two following mannerless nouns: sex and alcohol, ha...... they'll jumpstart their lying, lazy backsides out of coma faster than an angry breeze. Some creatures indeed!

Anyway, dear, I gotta go.
I'm all yours come next week. Tennis starts on Monday, the 31st, so you know I will for sure keep my word.
And by the way, my lil sister is preggers again...........

PMS symptoms from HELL!

INEXPLICABLE; thats the only word that can go in the same sentence with my mood at the moment.
I have no idea whether am angry, or depressed. I haven't the slightest clue where all this irritability is coming from. Gosh, I am more than irritable!
I am unable to scream or cry, but I desperately need to release all this rotten tension that's chewing me up inside. How to deal with all this confusion?

PMS...............

Nothing to display.

I've discovered that am quite a boring writer when my life is going smoothly. Ok, my being overly tearful scare a multitude of cockroaches, but it surely brings out something interesting on page.

I've been stuck on this page for a good half an hour, trying to add words together, but its as if my mind has been frozen...

I'm sick of writing about Wacko Jacko - the late king of pop. (I read his corpse is lying there noseless after some freaks decided he didn't need his famous breathing 'instrument' in heaven...(or is it hell?)
Maybe MJ was never meant to have a nose!

Anyway, I've worked so hard to grow my nails so am not gonna bite them inorder to come up with a sensible article.
This can go to hell for all I care......

***slowly recovering****

Happy Birthday Titch little!

Jaysus, the heartless Mr old age always has a way to get to people who fear him the most. Ofcourse am wrinkle-phobic...what do you think?

Anyway, the story is, my littlest man turns two in exactly 24 hours from now. All the cold sweat from trying to forget all about my age goes unnoticed, under the bridge.

These little animals we painfully give life to always make sure one "onekelaz ng'amba ndi ukalamba" (I don't know how to Englishize the quoted sentence....sorry to all who can't get it).

Anyway, I am having mixed feelings about Titch little's birthday. I am happy he is finally getting out of nappies, over the moon about retiring from evil bottles, but at the same time, am sad coz my baby is growing up. Soon he will be as cheeky as the other animal who thinks being 4 is all that....

Very soon I will be whacking his evil, silly little ass, and believe me, I aint lookin forward to it.

Tj, born on the 30th July 2007, is the most adorable little creature I have ever set my eyes upon. Born at exactly 34 weeks like his big brother, he was really tiny but very perfect. I remember him screaming his lungs out soon after I pushed him out. When I looked down at him, covered in blood and guts, I thought he was a cute, but intensely irritated baby frog....what with all the brain piercing screams...?

The nurses quickly covered him up and rushed him to the premature ward. When I saw him again in his incubator a few hours later, in tubes, I couldnt stop myself from crying - tears of joy ofcourse. He was so beautiful everyone thought he was a little girl. The doctors were very impressed with his progress they allowed him home after only 3 days (his brother spent two weeks in the same neonatal unit).

My little Tick is such an angel - a joy to look at after a joyless day. He can be stubborn at times, and has a temper of a red chilli pepper. But he is also so sweet he would make honey tastes like quinine. If you see him among his friends, or with his brother and cousin, you can't help but notice how different he is....he's got a certain inexplicable aura to him that attracts people's attention.

Tj makes even the most metal-hearted person smile.

Happy 2nd Birthday my angelic little boy!

Remember mum loves you always.

Congrats to the "Feds Express"!

The word 'rarity' comes with everything that has the name Roger Federer on it. On tennis courts, he does not only break his opponents hearts, but also legendary records. And when it comes to natural reproduction, he does it in doubles.

The Feds became a father for the very first time to little twin girls on thursday, the 16th of July. Surely, tennis extraordinary talents of tomorrow. I bet he is over the moon!

He better be for soon he will be on court with puffy eyes from lack of sleep due to the joyful bondages that will accompany his gorgeous pack of two.....the likes of midnight screams and bottle feeding..... lol.

Congratulations to the legend!

Too tired to comprehend.

Today is one of those days when my emotions seem to get the better of my being. Yeah, same old story......
I wish I could just numb my senses and never feel this pain ever again.
I am an emotional time bomb. I blast any time, any place.

I can't cry no more, for my tissues responsible for the production of tears are all dysfunctional from working overtime for far too long.
I have never been so helpless in my life!
Everytime I feel like I've finally got to the bottom of my condition, there comes another reminder......
My heart gets heavy like a tonne in my sternum. I literally can feel this sharp piercing pain deep in my soul caused by regret over lost opportunities.
I just wanna hurdle into a ball and forever cry this pain away. I wanna be free. I wanna be able to look back and not feel like am being cruelly scalded with overboiled cooking oil.....make it acid...

But despite this lumpy form of unhappiness thats buried within me, I still have to continue living. I still have to smile even when my heart is drenched in bloody tears.
How much longer can I carry on with this pretence? I am dangerously running out of energy to go on. It gets harder by the day.

So far I've realised that the unnerving grief one goes through after losing a loved one to death is unbearable, but it gets better after some time.

But how do you mourn a loved one who is still breathing? How do you get them out of your life when they have been there for so long? How do you cut that emotional attachment that won't give in to the sharpest sword? How do you get yourself to forget....? And how do you move on when your soul is still stuck in the past?
I wish feelings were like light switches.......

Really funny!

I can still feel my tummy stinging from laughing so much.
My hubby is in one grumpy mood over our four year old telling his teachers that 'his dad is older than rain......'
I think the old guy is going through midlife crisis.

The final curtain....

Counting how many loved ones I've lost to the most cruel type of human nature, (death) I try so hard to convince myself am not scared....
I tell myself that if those loved ones of mine fearlessly went through the inescapable route of life, so can I.
But to be truthful, am bloody terrified!
It must be painful breathing one's last breath....
And where do we go when we finally bite the terrible dust?
Do heaven and hell really exist?

So many questions, so few answers....

Burying the dream.

A time comes when that beautiful dream we've been chasing after all our lives runs a million miles way ahead of us.
Weary and teary, but knowing our happiness depends on us catching it, we carry on with the thorny chase-race.....still hoping...

And before we realise it, we've reached an impasse, a cul-de-sac....that place where we can't go no further..............
Before we know it, we are left with only that impossible choice, the ultimate - Burying the dream.....

Man in the mirror.

I can't stop wondering what Michael Jackson really felt about "man in the mirror"?

Love hurts??

Sorry, despite my outpouring sea of tears yesterday, am still in the middle of an emotional storm. There is just no way out for me!
I was reading something about love where someone made a comment about how love hurts.

Does love really hurt?
Nah, love is beautiful.
The only time it hurts, and real' bad, is when its unrequited or unbalanced. If ever you've experienced either of the two types of love, then you really have been to the loneliest place of life.

Emotional Stains.

Just in case you are interested, I didn't go to work today.
Yes, I had one of those cloudy mornings and decided to feel sorry for my silly ass at home.
I needed to give my soul a thorough cleansing by having a good cry, alone. Not that it helps much, but it makes me feel a wee better.
After drenching my pillow with salty tears, I drifted into a troubled dreamless sleep.

I am so sad coz I can't seem to wash away certain emotional stains. Am disturbed coz I just can't seem to get past certain unresolved feelings.
The object of my affection is the focal point of my chronically emotional disorder. This object of my desires has grown onto my most vital organ like a malignant tumour, its causing me so much pain.

As I sit here, typing this, a new flood of tears is threatening to pour out. Trying to blink it back is becoming an excruciating test of mental strength.
Why do I even feel this way?
Ofcourse, trying to figure out an answer for that is a total fiasco.
There is no web page I haven't browsed, looking for answers for my condition - a heartache beyond fathomlessness.

All the inspirational quotes, sayings and articles I have read about accepting fate remain meaningless and senseless to me.
When it comes to the "epicenter of my heart", I'm indispensably stuck. I just can't seem to accept its over.......

***some stains we get along life's road are just so indelible they can't be bleached away****

A true STAR - Michael Jackson.

God put each and everyone of us on earth for a special purpose (though am yet to discover what my purpose is...).

Anyway, Michael Joseph Jackson's only purpose on this planet was to entertain.

And he did that, alright.....

He entertained!

The one to beat his record is yet to be born.

RIP MJ.

The pampered Brit's brat...

With only less than seven days till the most sought after Grand Slam of the year, Wimbledon, everyone is going crazy trying to come up with accurate winner predictions.

As usual, the Brit's brat, Andy Murray who recently won the Queen's Club title, has already started making empty threats of how he's raised his game for Wimbledon. Just like always, Murray has already forewarned the likes of Roger Federer, who is still reeling with pleasure over the French Open title, and Raphael Nadal to be extra vigilant for he is ready to destroy...

Should we take the Brit's number one's threats seriously this time?

I don't think SO!

It would be one icy cold day in hell before Andy "spoilt" Murray wins a Slam!

A broken glass.

Just like the pricky pieces from a broken glass, some things and situations need not to be fixed. A glassware shattered is irreparable - irretrievable. Better leave it alone.
If you are more than willing to endure painful bloody hands and ofcourse failure, then go ahead, try put back the pieces of a broken glass....

People often say its better to have failed than not to have tried at all. And that the most "dululu-bitter" regrets are the ones for words left unsaid, deeds left undone, problems unattempted businesses unfinished......
But you know what, lately I've realised that some words are better left unuttered...
I've realised that some businesses were never meant to be finished..unless you wanna open up old wounds..

Money talks!

Madonna has finally been given the go ahead to adopt baby Mercy. The same Malawian opharned toddler she was previously denied to adopt two months ago.
There isn't much I can say... but am glad. I'm sure everyone can now agree with everyone else that "big bucks talk big!"
With Baby Mercy's future secured, everyone wins!

Where could she be?

Its been more than two years since little Madeline Maccann disappeared without a trace. Everytime I see her little angelic face on TV or newpaper, my heart aches despairingly. I've so many times put myself in Madeline's parents shoes, imagining how they go about each day not knowing......having no slightest idea where their girl could be. Sometimes I close my eyes and try to count how many countries the earth has, then I start counting the cities......Madeline could be anywhere. But where exactly? And if she is somewhere in this vast planet, is she still alive?

Losing a child is a cruelly devastating experience no parent should have to go through, but what happened to the Maccanns, living their every days, not knowing what exactly happened to Madeline is just inexplicably horrible!

I still haven't cried.

.......it stills feels like yesterday, even though its been fourteen years. The fuming stench of alcohol is still fresh in my mind; so unfamiliar then. I can still smell raw tobacco even with a heavily blocked nose. That red pool of blood will forever give me nightmares for I see it wherever I go. Even with my eyes closed and mind blank. I can still see myself motionless like a paused screen picture on my parent's bedroom door.
I'm just standing there. Helpless. Aimless.

In less than an instant, my whole world comes to a huge abrupt halt. My brain cells hibernate, my heart ceases beating, my soul freezes to subzero degrees.
The person I looked up to as my hero is lifelessly lying there, on that freezing floor, blood oozing from his mouth, nose and ears. Its such a ghastly sight.
Even though am numb all over, I know he is no more. My dearest dad is dead. And he's taken with him the remainder of my birthdays ahead. My thirteenth birthday has just turned into a funeral.
Only later do I get to realise that never will I see my dad again......nor smile on the day I was born. But I still haven't shed a tear.................

Safina vs Kuznetsova.

I know I pretty hinted as much that I wasn't going to watch the ladies French Open final, but I bet you knew it was anger talking.
I'm still very bruised over Serena's loss in the quarters to Kuznetsova, but that won't stop me from enjoying the final match. Hope it will all be worth negleting laundry for.

I really like Svetlana Kuznetsova. I think she is an amazing human being who happens to be a tennis star. Apart from Venus Williams, Svetlana is the only one I don't feel like strangling whenever she beats my Serena.
So she is my favourite to win this tournament round! The world number seven definitely deserves another Gland Slam title under her belt. She worked really hard for it. We both know downing Serena is not one of the easiest tasks....
Svetlana played splendidly against the mightier Williams in the quarters of the Slam. Even though her win put so much harm to my fragile heart and poisoned my mood, I still wish her the very best in the final!

Forgive me!

I don't really like going back to this silly blog, but once in a while, when I have absolutely nothing to do I go back and reread this nonsense I scribble. I must say most of what is in the blog is quite shocking!
Just the realization of how rude and horrible I can be at times, especially when am destructed emotionally, makes me pepper red in the face. I am not a very nice person, I suppose.....
And a lot of times I find myself getting really furious over crippled and brainsick spellings, sore grammar and nauseating style of writing. That only feels like sharp razors scraping my soul.

The Irish weather has been on such excellent behaviour for the past seven days, so am not gonna put too much negative energy in what am scribbling tonight. Ireland is one of those countries that was cursed with an inclement and unpredictable weather. The country is like deep-freezer cold....and its forever raining.... . And the occupiers of this freezing land hardly make it any easier with their sour attitudes that seem to match their weather. The Irish are so unpredictably moody! One minute they are all chitchat with you, the next they act like they've just met an alien from mars. Mostly, the poorer the weather, the fouler the moods.
As I already mentioned above, it has been really sunny since last week. The Irish are absolutely enjoying the bask and the gorgeous blue sky.
Beautifully tanned ladies in shorts and mini skirts are all over the place looking heart-bruisingly sexy. And the men are just irresistibly yummy with bulging biceps and six pacs visible to us all. I had no idea the opposite sex could be so ANNOYINGLY SEXY!
Everyone is smiling. Umbrellas, jackets and grumpy faces have been completely forgotten.
Its really amazing what sunshine can do to people!

Thou shall not shower with four year olds!

I have been taking a shower with my four year old since he was born. Yeah, I know you are frowning, but if your life was as hectic as mine, you would remove that smug off your face.

Ok, sometime around last year, my son looked at me with a question in his eyes. Then he went on asked why 'I did not have a 'willie' like him or his dad, or my other son'.
I told him I had one but somebody cut it off.
He sadly told me not to worry for he was going to get me a new one.
Let me quote, "don't worry mum, I will go to the shops and buy you a new willie, a pink one, Ok?."

Today was the most embarrasing day of my life. My four years of taking a shower with a yapping parrot have finally paid off.
I'd gone to pick this boy up from school, when he suddenly announced to the whole gang of mischievous little boys that my willie was cut off and he was saving money to get me another one. "guys, this is my mum, and she has no willie....."
If he had only said that, I could have handled the embarrassment. But he went on to say his dad was a very old man and had the biggest willie ever...................
The other mums and teachers could not stifle their mirth.
I wonder how in the world am gonna show my face at that play school again..........

Manchester United couldn't hold on.....

Manchester United fans all over the world should be having sleepless nights from tonight. I didn't really see the match for I was still not over the Bloody Barca robbing Chelsea in the semis of the Champion league.
Well, dung happens!
It should have been Chelsea, man.....

Yesterday.

Yesterday is nothing but a memory.
Sometimes I wish memories never existed.
Coz it hurts so much to remember, especially the good times.
So many times I've wished upon the stars that Yesterday should come back.
But it never does....................

Its on at Roland Garros.

Great news to all Tennis Junkies; The second Grand Slam of the year has finally begun in the City of Love, Paris.
If you are crazy about the game the way I am, then you probably have asked yourself the usual question; Who scoops the Grand prize this time around?

For Anna Ivanovic, who is the women's defending champion, the pressure is energy-supping. And frankly, the Serbian Chick hasn't been playing a heart-gripping tennis for sometime now. I seriously doubt she will even reach fourth round.
Its really hard to foretell who will come out tops among the girls.
Maria Sharapova is back, thank God, but she sucks on clay. And after being away for so long, she too doesn't stand a chance.
The French Open is the least of my favourite Grand Slams. Somehow the clay courts make players look like clumsy pregnant cattle on ice. And that's not fun to watch. Funny, yes, but you ask yourself; "are these amateurs or top players?" Even the mighty Williams sisters haven't been that successful in Paris. Ofcourse Serena, the youngest of the two has won the Slam once, in 2002, but with a great struggle. Will she be scoop it again this time, and make her eleventh Grand Slam title? Or is it Venus' chance to show the world she's not only dangerous on grass?
I guess we will soon find out.

While I can not predict the Winner for the female's draw, I am almost certain Raphael Nadal, who's been on the top spot in Men's tennis for sometime now, will remain undefeatable. I almost am sure he will win The French title consecutively for the 6th time. The Spaniard is just too good on clay.
Its up to Feds Express (Roger Federer) to decide otherwise, to finally put a stop to Rafa's reign. Or is it young Andy Murray's turn this time? The pampous Brit has been untouchable so far.
Lets see if he now has enough guts for a Grand Slam title.

A good two weeks of bliss to all my fellow tennis Junkies.

The 'madcap' housewives of Wisteria lane.

Wow, what else can I say?

The sexy housewives of Wisteria lane finished the season with one loud bang.

The kiss between Bree and Carl? Yoh, SO INTENSE! I so saw it coming.

The mentally challenged Dave has been instutionalised....finally he gets to mingle with people of his level.

The Scavos, my goodness....two more bunnies in the oven? You should have seen Tom's face when Lynette told him she was preggers again, "but we are old....." That was his short sentence in response to the news.

Come on, poor Tom wants to go back to college and study 'chinchan' (chinese)..how could that happen...lol? I laughed my head-off. Seriously speaking, Lynette and Tom are just a match made in that side of heaven where the word 'funny' originates from. I absolutely LOVE THEM!

Feeling, feelings, I mean 'sexual feelings' just can not be denied. Susan and Mike couldn't escape fate. The soul mates finally gave in to their long bated desires.

That was one long knee-buckling KISS!

BUT WHO IS MIKE MARRYING?

May 19th, 09.

If you are Malawian, chances are you've lost a couple of beauty sleeps over the oncoming election.

The May 19th song is like a bad nappy rash. I hear it endlessly left, right and centre.

Now my fellow Africans with the warmest hearts, no need to sweat any more for the day that has given us the most sleepless nights and bad migraines has almost arrived.

I am not to going vote myself, but I hope anyone who does, does so wisely.

May the best political party win!

The heart forever goes on!

At one point in our lives, the windows to our soul catch a glimpse of that one attention-grabbing object. Our whole beings get transfixed and minds muted.

In less than an instant, our little world turns topsy-turvy.

Our hearts miss a couple of vital beats, and their gateway open up wide, allowing that piece of treasure a grand entrance. That becomes an irreversible event; it can never be altered.

Our lives are forever changed.

We can run a million miles,

cross a billion oceans and seas,

We can even climb a trillion mountains, the size of Everest,

go to the moon a zillion times and back,

but we can never escape the grips of that object of our devotion,

the squeeze of that object of our affection,

That one person we love so dearly.

**The heart forever goes on**

Sport slaves.

One day, for some stupid reason, one just wakes up and decides a big chunk of their happiness would depend on a certain group of twelve grown men chasing after a ball, or a someone physically abusing a tiny lifeless little ball over and over across what looks like a fish net, or someone else doing something that does not make so much sense. That not-so-clever decision to idolise that somebody changes lives forever.

I'd love to tell the whole world that am clever enough; an exceptional...
I'd love to tell everyone am not a sport slave....
But unfortunately am one of the most stupid human beings....
Right about now, as am scribbling this, my mood stinks worse than rotten sewage.
And do you know why?
I will tell you:
1. Serena Williams out in the first round of WTA Rome tournament.
2.Chelsea.......what happened at Stamford bridge tonight is actually too painful for me to put it down......perhaps when I heal I will write something sensible and fair.
Right now I just wanna curse that good-for-nothing ref.....he is such a BUM!

But yet am also thinking, "why do I let myself go through this unnecessary pain of being a Chelsea or Serena slave when I don't even get paid for it?"
It seems people like us - sports fans, are so loyal, we would go an extra mile for our teams for absolutely no reward. Look at that Arsenal fan who hanged himself simply beause his team couldn't make it to the final...MADNESS!
Its a shame there seem to be so many of us, crazy people, out there who deliberately choose to be SLAVES - all in the name of sport!

Fuuuuuuuuuming!!!!!

I don't even know where to begin.....
How? Why????
Chelsea was almost there man.
It actually deserved to make it to the final.....
Anyway, BULL happens!!!!

Serena Williams to pick up a pencil?

The female world tennis number 2 has revealed she would like to pick up a pencil and write.

Well, my reaction to the news has been nothing but mute.

Everybody knows how the younger of the Williams sisters operates on a tennis court - she can be untouchable when she wants to be. Very intimidating...

She often says, "I don't need a medal to prove am the world's best, for I am the best. And at my best, I can beat anybody including myself."

That is more than true. Serena Williams was born to be on court, no doubt!

But would anybody give her as much credit as a fashion designer or an actor?

I've seen Serena in action as an actor, on the American popular comedy, My wife and kids, and I must say I was not given enough goosebumps.

The tennis ace is not a natural actor. She more or less uses her brains to get into a character, and we all know that is not the same as being naturally talented.

I admit I haven't seen much of her sport fashion designer label, Aneres. But from what I've read and heard, Serena has not been getting positive reviews on that one either.

So she is thinking of scribbling? Well, I don't know, really. Somehow I can not picture Serena Williams with a bestseller.....I might be wrong.........

It'd would have made more sense if Venus had made that announcement. She is the deeper one of the sisters...and more committed too.

I guess, as Serena herself has pointed it out, nothing is impossibe!

No one like Wacko Jacko.

Early life

He was a little boy who made the most dramatic exit from the womb. His parents spotted his uniqueness right away.

He sang before he could talk.

Would always get serious whacks from his dad for being incredibly mischievous.

Besides being tiresomely defiant, the fact that this little guy was abundantly blessed outweighed all his naughty sins. His sublime personality and amazing talent drew both human's and animal's attention the way a bee would be drawn to a heavily after-shaved teenage boy.

The word 'star' was clearly imprinted on Michael Jackson's forehead way before he was born.

The result of Fame.

His prolific vocal codes flew him way higher than intended.

Fame in abundance made Jacko greedy. He could not get enough of being on top of the world.

Plentiful of US dollar notes, brought in stuff like 'bleach' that tortured his once beautiful brown skin, numerous knives with different shapes, that had no mercy on his flat nostrils - God, if there is a nose that has suffered beyond extreme measures, its Michael's...!

The more famous he got, the weirder he became.

From a very cute little black boy, to a sexless-looking, paranoid, white creature.

Fame took its toll in the most weird and wicked way possible!

Wacko Jacko.

Everyday new promising artists are born. Not all of them make it big, unfortunately. Its a cruel world, this entertainment industry.

And the ones who make it, not so many survive the scorching pressure that comes with fame - look at Britney Spears - from saint to fame-thirst vixen....

Anyway, I guess thats the price these rich and famous people pay for having filthy, fat bank accounts.

No wonder Micheal Jackson's looks, especially his nose paid massive.....

So many good voices before and after him, but none of them has generated so much fame or billion dollar bills the way Jacko did. He is indeed a true legend!

But what really brought Michael all the legendary success?

Well, all I know is, the one artists to beat Michael Jackson's record is yet to be born!

**I hear he has isolated himself from the world and people for he is afraid he might catch the deadly swine flu...HILARIOUS!

Lazy.

Another lazy long weekend amidst swine flu and recession.
It seems nothing interesting is going on around this world. Everytime I turn on the TV, all I see is pathetic green masks on peoples nostrils.
When I turn on the radio, all I hear is people cursing the finance Minister for the red minus symbols in their unfortunate bank accounts.
I know am weird, crazy maybe, but my hatred for CNN, Aljazeera and BBC news has just gone beyond its cracking point.
Everytime I hear the word 'news', my blood efferverntly boils in my veins.

I am not going to live forever, so why should I torture my poor soul following stuff that would only upset me?
People always say one day something serious will happen and I won't know about it for I never watch news. Well, ignorance is bliss!
Sorry guys, but I will stick with The Bold and the Beautiful even though it pisses me off sometimes - What's with Brook Logan anyway? The woman is like a pint being passed around some pitiful inebriates in a dilapidated shabeen.
Days of our lives is brilliant. I just melt away seeing the love between Sean Brady and Belle Black - so intense, so real..... it somehow reminds me of....
And Isidingo... whats with Zebedia Matabane? Jeez, that man needs somebody to hammer some sense into his thick head.
Ok, enough of these soapies. And I aint gonna talk about football or tennis or how I have never understood men.....
Oops, my head has just ran out of writing petrol!

You are irreplaceable.

I've been staring at this computer monitor for ages, trying to come up with something sombre, to describe mood.
Despite all the effort to make sense of things, ever since you left,
I still haven't understood.
I aint angry no more,
But I simply can not stop these tears from falling.
It hurts so much to accept you are gone.
The memories you left keep me going,
only they aint enough.
I hope there is really a life after death,
Cos if there is not, then I'd never forgive myself for not saying goodbye,
Especially to the one and only brother I had.
Rest in peace, dearest Craig!

Zuma to rule SA?? UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

I thought Malawians and Zimbabweans were the only ones playing political "mummies and daddies"? I guess I stand corrected.

South Africans have just made the biggest blunder in political history. I feel let down big time! How could they vote for Zuma of all the depraved illiterates?
A rapist for president? NO BLOODY WAY!
Thabo Mbeki might have been cold and gay, but he had integrity.

The inaptly corrupted Jacob surely makes Bakili Muluzi the thief, and John Tembo the murderer look like saints.
My grandpa Bob Mugabe is literally an impeccable genius compared to the new South African president.
Absolute heap of dung!

Forever on the dance floor.

Unlike Cinderella at the Prince's ball, she gracefully entered the familiar hall on a steady gait, with her head held as higher as the clouds. She looked elegant in her ankle-length emerald fashion designer dress that exposed her slender back, but hid the classy pair of stiletto she had on her feet. Her hair was a mass of fashionable spirals that dangled down her neck. She was a fantastic picturesque to behold!

A sudden realization of the vast changes that had taken place inside the old hall over the years brought her to an abrupt halt. She was awestruck!

A fluffy mass of red and gold carpet covered the once soiled floors. The walls were expensively papered in a rich yellow hue that would illuminate even the most despairing darkness.

The glittering constellation of lights in the ceiling added a much more exotic look to the place.

It was unbelievable!

Even the revellers looked different. The women were exclusive in their colourful ball gowns and make up. Almost angelic. The men in their tuxedos, almost untouchable. It was indeed an extravagant scenery.

The once filthy 'Kachasu' filled tumblers were now replaced with posh champaigne glasses. Everything was in an immaculate condition.

Among the throng of these beautiful merrymakers, her eyes searched for one familiar face. She could feel her soul tense inside. Every blood vessel in her body was boiling in anticipation. Then suddenly she spotted him at the far side of the hall. He had his head down and hands in his pockets as if deep in thoughts. Her heart was pounding so hard in her ribs, the soft music that was being played seemed mute in comparison. He still made her wits reel with desire after all the years.

And as if cautioned, he looked up from his dream and saw her. When their eyes met, everything went idle. The moment was intensely electrifying.

Then as if controlled by a huge magnetic force, they strided towards one another.

A few centimetres away from him, she made another halt to take a good look at the only man that had ever captivated her soul; the only man she loved.

He was now taller and annoyingly sexier. Unlike the other guys, he had his jacket off but still looked a million pounds worth. The first two buttons of his snow white shirt were unbuttoned and showed a morsel of manly hair. It took all the effort she could muster for her to remain in control. Otherwise all she wanted was to run to him and rip his shirt off so she could trace her fingers over his inviting love garden.

She covered the remaining two steps and took both his hands in hers. They did not have to say much. Their eyes spoke in very high decibels. The love waves flowing around in their blood vessels almost shook the whole place apart.

This time he didn't have to ask her to dance. When Joe Thomas started playing one of his amorous songs, he gently pulled her into the comfort of his strongs arms. It was as if she was moulded to perfectly fit there. Nothing else mattered but their love.

And when their lips finally met, everything and everyone disappeared into the thin oxygen around the hall. The slow, but most sensual kiss they shared made up for all the years lost; sealing their destiny forever, right on the same dance floor where it all begun.

**For you Jr**

To love in vain.

The only time I can't get my brain into a writing gear is when my heart is shedding buckets of blood for opportinities lost.
Have you ever felt there was something critically important missing from your life, even though in truth, you have almost everything a human being could possibly need?

I have.

Yes, I am happy, but sometimes I wonder why I feel so sad?
Despite all the beautiful gifts the world has offerred, why do I still feel like a vital part of my existence isn't there?
Why do I still have this void; a longing, deep within the depths of my soul, crying out to be filled?

It hurts so much to know love was in your grasp at one time, but somehow you let it go.
It hurts even worse when everything you do brings you back to that person you want more than life itself, and knowing you can never have them.

....................................................
Totally messed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

The plus symbol.

25 years of retribution starts with the passionate union between two bodies of the opposite sex. Whether this act of sweet joining takes place in a thorny bush, or steamy shower, or on a bed of roses, does not really matter, for the result is usually the same.
For women, the price that comes with the pleasure of the union is exorbitantly high.

Normally, you have an approximately 2o days after the 'loving' to enjoy your freedom before fierce hormones begin their wreckage in your body.
The first sign of imminent danger is the escalating libido level. Suddenly, your frigidity has been miraculously cured. You want "it" 24/7. Before you know it, you have become a nymph in just a short time.
I always advise my friends (especially the men) who are in that situation to enjoy every minute of those libidinous days - for when manic morning sickness hits, a single thought of coupling is enough to get you locked up for homicide or worse.
Have you ever wondered why they call it morning sickness? I have, and I think its stupid they call it that. The crazy condition does not give a damn what time of day it is to strike - anytime is hell time.
I had to walk around with a plastic bag during both my pregnancies just to avoid regurgitating on other furious beings. At one point I almost choked on my puke trying to find the nearest toilet in town.
Besides the evil retching, morning sickness also brings with it a terrible heartburn that radiates your soul. Pregnancy is such a messy business.

Still in denial about everything happening, and feeling like a rotten piece of meat, the last thing you want is some pedantic, fogy of a doctor to be telling you some "its good news" bull. So you take matters in the hands of the little, heartless stick of reckoning. A mark of urine in form of a plus or minus mathematical symbol holds your destiny. When it comes to the truth, that little stick tells it in the most brutal manner possible.
The minute it takes for the result to season is more nerve-wrecking than having to wait for the jury reach a verdict for a murder you did not commit.

Before you know it, your whole body mutates into a huge scary planet. You make frequent visits to the loo a century times more than a common inebriate who is forever in a pub.
You cant sleep or bend. You walk with legs apart like an gonorrhoea-hampered brass. Life seems tediuosly dull for you.

After almost 90 days of the horrible morning sickness, another 90 of incessant peeing and another 90 of looking like an obese hippo, a day or two of unutterable pain that makes morning sickness seem like a leisurely work out, in comparison, follows. Then after what seems like a million excruciating pushes, a big head pops out of your body, covered in guts, blood and other inexplicably disgusting stuff. One squeaky scream marks the end of your freedom forever.
Congratulations, you've just created your own "pooping bill-generator"!

Rihanna and Ti didn't make sense....

Earth has surely bred more losers than any other planet in comparison. I can't believe other people actually have an extra minute, in this busy world, to follow up on what others are doing. Such a waste of precious time.
But hey, I guess some people simply like to put their sorry asses on hold and watch others live.
Yeazus, their lives must be incomprehensibly boring to get to such lengths....!

Well, since you've chosen to make an executant out of moi, you won't be disappointed. I will give all'ya haters something juicy worth opening your gabbles wide for. So put them meaningless lives of yours on a long pause - or stop them all together, and make sure your silly, sorry backsides are as comfortable as possible for yours truly is about to give you an Oscar award winning performance.
Ha ha, am so loving this!
My life, your entertainment.

My faith in humanity slowly waning.

What is this world coming to, really?

When I was 16, I witnessed two of my favourite cousins (brother and sister) having incestuous intercourse. I thought it was the most sickening encounter to ever have taken place on planet earth, I thought my cousins were the "sickest sickos" alive.
But I was dead wrong.
The world is full of sickos, and some of the stuff they do are just way too gross for contemplation.

A good example would be two Irish sisters, well known as the "scissors sisters" who brutally hammered their mum's foreign boyfriend to death, dismembered him and and threw his body pieces in a canal, keeping his penis and head.
Then another pair of evil; brothers from Russia, murdered their other brother, chopped up his body, refrigirated the pieces, and ate them continously, everyday for six months.
And just recently, this well respected farmer shamelessly admitted to having sex with his sheep on regular basis. He even had the decency to tell the world that he enjoys the sick act with the poor animal, more than the way he does with his beloved wife. Tell me that it normal?

Everyday I pick up a news paper, there is always something heart-stoppingly depressing happening somewhere. If its not Bestiality, its Incest, or murder or some other soul-freezing thing beyond human understanding, like child molestation.
Its utterly disgusting!

Let me stop here for now before I puke my guts out on this laptop......

No proof of the existence of Sorcery.

Where I come from, almost everyone is obsessed with sorcery - witchcraft, in other words. Most people equate this evil-associated form of art with the eldery, and am not sure why. Maybe their frail and puckered appearance perfectly fits the imaginative description of evil......well, I dont know. I remember when I was in Standard 3, a certain friend of mine came to School late claiming a witch had fallen off from the roof at their house. Being horribly curious, I knew there was absolutely no way I was going to miss such a big event. I remember, I was supposed to take a Maths test on that day, but I chose to miss it for the witch. When I got there, I was dissappointed to see just an ordinary-looking old lady on the porch being mercilessly beaten. People who had come to the scene earlier swore the lady looked really scary minutes after her fall. They claimed her ears were as big as satelite dishes, her nose almost a 100m wide and so on. I did not believe any of that crap for I didn't see it, so I decided to go back to School to face the inevitable consequences - a good beating. The rest of the day went sour for me. The miserable whipping my backside endured on that particular afternoon, for missing the test would have been a lot more bearable if I had seen the witch still in her evil transformation (big ears and all that).......anyway, I guess it just was not my day.
Not only the old and wrinkled are the first suspects when it comes to witchcraft, even small children - especially the ones who look malnourished, are sometimes branded witches. It is a strong belief that stunted growth in kids is a result of eating too much human meat. Unbelievably GROSS!

I find this whole belief in sorcery ridiculous and stupid. How is it possible for a grown person to fly on a needle or broom, or sprint on a delicate Spider web? Honestly, if witchcraft really existed, a lot of people, especialy Africans, would be millionaires - they would use their magic powers to rob banks and make themselves filthy rich.
I believe the whole thing is just a stupid excuse losers use when things dont go their way. "ndalodzedwa, akuti akuti aja alemera mosadziwika bwino, ufiti...." These are the kinds of silly lines people usually comfort their silly *asses with, when their lives are nothing but total fiascos. PATHETIC!
Unless I see myself up in the sky on a needle, I will forever remain unconvinced about the existence of supernatural powers.

Malawi's upcoming "mummies and daddies" election.

I've tried so damn hard to keep my oversized nose out of Malawi's recent ridiculous political situation, but I think I've just had enough! Having to suppress turbulent rapids of rage over my home country's upcoming unnecessary general election for so long has left me emotionally paralysed. Look at the presidential candidates in running, do you honestly think Malawi is ready for change yet? Its seriously depressing. Where are all the young promising, intelligent, fresh politicians?
It's always been the same stupid parties and same old, disease-hampered faces running since the first general election fifteen years ago. To be truthful, these people are not even fit to be Kindergarten class monitors. And even if people voted for the right candidate, chances of the outcome being fair and genuine would still be close to none. It is indeed a hopeless situation.

Everytime I hear the name Bakili Muluzi, my mood takes a wrong, sour turn. I honestly think him running for president for the third time, is cripplingly absurd. My heart painfully bleeds every minute I try to think of why nobody was able to put a stop to that utter nonsense when it first begun.
Every Malawian citizen knows the guy has an incurable thieving disorder; he can not keep his hands out of other people's pockets. I sincerely thought change was what everybody wanted? But it seems people are ready for the repitition of bad history. Go ahead, vote for the thief then..

No one in their sound mind would want to waste their precious vote on John Tembo. Come on, the man gives politics a smelly name. If you were there during the Kamuzu era, then you probably know what am talking about_no need to make a long list of all his soul-chilling deeds. Besides, I do not even think Tembo has any presidency bone in him. I reckon the day this MCP leader becomes president will also be the day Pacific ocean dries up completely.

I am not going to waste any of my time talking about the elks of Gwanda Chakwamba, Kamlepo Kaluwa and all other political losers who think they even stand a chance. Seriously, what is there to say? Them guys haven't done anything solid politically....aargh...BORING!

A fat juicy critic about Bingu Wamutharika would have been a magnificent way to finish the chapter, but am afraid my little black book has nothing sinister about the current president. Seriously speaking, I haven't had a whiff of any planned assassinations, or pocketing of millions meant for charity from this guy yet. Ok, maybe electricity and water predicaments, but anybody in their right minds would know that is not entirely the president's fault. And judging from the new exotic look of the little warm heart of Africa nowadays, it would be unfair not to give him a morsel of credit. Ofcourse he is not Barack Obama, but I still think he has done alright.

Why go through the whole voting ordeal when we can simply let Bingu carry on with the reign? At least till the elks of Bakili Muluzi and John Tembo bite the dust.....

Bloodbath at Stamford bridge.

The Blue Hunkies smilingly finished the castration ceremony of Loserfools (Liverpool) which began last week wednesday.
Chelsea elusively denied Liverpool another chance to get into the semi-finals of Champion league. What a shame!
However, getting them Liverpool beasts to behave while the gelding was in process was not such an easy job. But the persistent Chelsea studs did it with pride.
What an energy-sapping competition it was; A real blood-bath!

Give me Drogba anytime.....lol
But a big well done to both teams. Liverpool might not have made it to the semis but it surely gave them Chelsea hunkies a good chase for their money.

Blue all the way!

Life isn't fair.

My last blog "Men can be SO BLOODY IRRITATING" has managed to infuriate a number of souls, am afraid.
One of my best buddies actually thought everything written in it was horriby feministic and unfair considering that not all men are insensitive bastards the way the blog insinuates.
Another one went on to say, 'I will quote'; Hannah, you are still as stubborn as ever. Will it ever get into your head that boys will always be boys? You dont deserve that saint of your hubby. Him being insanely jealous only means he loves you to bits. Why is it that the best guys are wasted on stubborn feminist like yourself?"

You know what, the last question got me thinking really hard about my life. People have always thought good things were wasted on me.
For example; When I was a baby, my aunt tells me my mom used to say the Hebrew name, "Hannah" which means "Graceful" in English, was wasted on me for I was a wicked bundle of screams and tears, not joy. I am told I would persistently scream till I got what I wanted. And when time came for my mum to wean me off the boob, I cried for ten days without giving my poorly immature lungs a break.
Growing up, my elder brother bullied me relentlessly and turned me into a terrible tomboy. My hair would always be cut very short_almost bald. I was that devastatingly naughty girl who was always among a bunch of boys climbing trees. I never used to wear pink or participate in anything girlish going on around the house. I was a constant source of frustration for my mother who eventually had to use the oldest trick in the book to turn me into a proper lady. She always used to cry everytime I got into trouble whether at school or around the neighbourhood for mischief. She must have thought I was cursed with the evil associated gay-gene or something......why else would she cry? Anyway, maybe I was just a handful...lol
My grandmother (God rest her soul) on the other hand thought it pointless to teach me any wifery duties like, cooking and washing since she was a hundred and twenty percent sure I would never get hitched....... (she must have turned in her grave when I did). However, she would always say a special rosary for me every night asking The Almighty to relieve me of my satan-accompanied stubbornness and tomboyshness. (It worked I must say).
Whilst my Nana was all over me like a bad nappy rash with her rosary beads, it was my aunties from my dad's side who always managed to raise my temper to a dangerous effervescing point. They would go on and on about how they could not understand why splendid feminine qualities like shapely hips and boobs were wasted on somebody who did not deserve them; somebody like me. And It wasn't just my family on my case. Even people I had no blood ties with thought they had a say in my being stubborn and flippant. I really felt seriously smothered. I truly believed these people were trying to tell me how to live my life and I did not like it. So I resorted to day dreaming and numbed all my sensory nerves. It worked like a charm. The only disadvantage of my new found antidote to these people's salty insults and complaints was that it did not have a positive effect in my life academically. I remember day dreaming all the lessons I thought excruciatingly boring away in my school days. That frustrated the wits of almost all my teachers for they believed I did not make good use of my "super brains".......another super quality wasted on me.....shooo!

And believe it or not, when I reproduced, everybody including my best friend almost suffered a heart attack from shock. My aunt instantly aged prematurely and she is now in a nursing home.....lol When I asked why everybody thought my reproducing strange, they told me that somehow the word reproduction and my name didnt really make sense in the same sentence........absolute mania.

Well, isnt it funny how life's lottery distributes its prizes and awards to the least suited candidates? For example; mostly, the least maternal women turn out to be annoyingly fertile, while the most maternal may have to strive to beget. Beautiful women who have more than a fair share of sexy admirers are sometimes indifferent to sex, while plain women are troubled with the highest libidos of secret nymphomaniacs.
Those with the talent to be artists may not have the temperament, and some with the ambition for glory do no have the talent. Those who have the brains may not be diligent enough, and the most diligent ones lack the brains. And those more suited to the role of marriage get the worst partners and vice-versa.

Sorry guys, but life is a bitch so deal with it!

Men can be SO BLOODY IRRITATING!!!!!

Aaaarrgh!!!
Male creatures can be so heartbreakingly annoying at times. Everytime I put an effort to at least get into their thick brains to figure them out, a terrible migraine hits me harder than a lightning bolt instead.
I've had it up to the neck with these insensitive, satan-forsaken beasts!

Who created men anyway? Surely not God...
Gosh! They are such irritants!

When a lady is quite, they think she is being moody.
"is it that time of the month again honey?" Thats all they think about..
Jeez, I could do with brutal strangulation!
It seems men do not like seeing their women smiling, laughing or just enjoying themselves; "honey, you are a bit irky today are you sure your haven't had too much to drink?" That question just drives me suicidal! Its like an insult to an injury.
To these creatures, every intimate gesture from their lady has to end in between the legs. They dont understand that sometimes a woman just want to feel her man close enjoying the warmth and the sound of his heart beat without going all the bloody way.
I have always felt there is more to love than just an ordinary romp. (No I aint frigid if thats what you think). After all love is suppose to be unconditional (sex or no sex) and be felt from the heart and from within a woman's legs. But nah, men always put sex as a condition. I truly believe you have to feel for someone deeply before you enjoy sex with them thoroughly. Thats why its called making love. But I guess that theory has yet to sink into animal's thick skulls. And chances of that happening are in negatives.

Whilst all men are the same in terms of annoyance and irritation, mine scoops the most massive gold medal for serious abuse of both behaviours. When am quite he starts whining about how tired he is of my flactuating moods. When am happier than usual, he always thinks alcohol has something to do with it and finds it irritating.
He hates my books so much he threatened to burn them all. He does not like me reading at all. But when I decide to give my eyes a break and make noise with my sister on the phone instead, he asks why I aint reading coz my talking to my only sibling galls him to the depth of his troubled soul.
And when am online, he goes ballistic and takes it out on glasses and anything that is breakable within his reach.
When I'm late from work, he jumps to a stupid "you are having an affair" conclusion. When I stay home, he thinks I have a mission of bringing other men in the house whilst he is at work.
I often ask him what he wants me to be doing instead since nothing pleases him.

All you good ladies out there, dont go out of your way just to please a man. They never get satisfied anyway. That is the way they will always be!

*apologies to all men who have read this...its just me musing out loud the truth.

Fantasy.

Its a snowy night in HELL. Drunkards, thieves, liars and all its other occupants are holding their breaths marvelling at this mass of crystal white.

And you know that only means one thing: Yours truly and her long-time lover, Honourable 'Red wine' are reunited in holy matrimony.

Dont mind me, am just in one mellow mood. And to spice it all up, I have a salivating meal waiting to be devoured tonight. On the menu I have the appetizing Usher Raymond for starters, the excrutiatingly sexy Michael Bolton for my main course and some honey-coated Joe Thomas for desert. Oh my, aint I just the luckiest?

Whats the point???

The Irish are famously and globally known for being notoriously thirsty; they are critical dipsomaniacs.
I haven't met any group of creatures who smoke like chimneys, drink more than a million fish en masse and romp more often than sex-deprived rabbits.

Anyone would think I'm making all this up if they visited Ireland Easter weekend. These people put the whole mother Theresa facade during this time. Everything that has anything to do with alcohol and fags dies a quick painful death on good friday; pretentiously that is. Clubs, pubs, off-licenses and all places that sell alcohol are not only closed but the shelves that hold the bottles and containers of sin are covered with black material.

But the funny thing is; these alcoholic potatoes go to all that trouble pretending to be mourning the son of God but in their homes everything stays the same. They'd have purchased a plentiful amount of liquor to last them the days they're supposed to wear the christianity masks. If you dont know how they truly operate you would think they are so serious about the whole easter thing and all that. Well, wrong!

Everyone knows the Irish are forever thirsty. They, themselves, know it too. I think the whole business of closing up liquor stores just for reasons that are false is just incomprehensibly ridiculous. If they want to mourn their savour, Jesus Christ, then I suggest they shouldn't even touch alcohol in the first place during that whole time they are supposed to be mourning. Otherwise the whole routine is just absolutely pointless!

Liverpool gelded!

My Blue Hunkies have done it again!

Poor Liverpool souls must be kicking themselves wherever they may be.

A 3-1 loss is not only unbelievably embarassing but also seriously pathetic.

Well done Chelsea!

???????.

Scribbling, scribbling and more scribbling. Its another Manic Monday and as usual, I am in a foulest mood. And to ice the cake, I have one of them terrible period pains. Its absolute crap!

So, to avoid life in prison, (coz now I so feel like strangling some soul) I have decided to torture this poor keyboard instead.... it definitely is more appealing than brutal murder.

Damn, I am insane!
Its times like these when I realise that not everybody who's seen a Shrink has their brain wires crossed or messed up and that you don't have to be instutionalised to qualify as a lunatic. I am a perfect example of raw lunacy. Ofcourse I inherited a fair share of crazy genes but I would still have qualified had that not been the case.
I live in my thoughts. That absolutely gives me a plus where insanity is concerned. There are times when I feel like the most demented soul on this planet. But right now I feel more like a confused pregnant cockroach who is experiencing horrible labour pains than crazy.
I am sorry if you happen to be cursed and are reading this at the moment.....

Eeeeeeish, I am not sure where I am going with this anymore. My scattered brain seems exhausted. I can't scribble when that happens.

Happy Birthday Orama!

The first animal I pushed into this world turns four in just two days; another dark,unwelcomed reminder of years piling up! I still find it hard to believe how fast time flies especially when one is trying to forget their age.

Its just not fair! Whenever I wish for time to drag a bit, it flies faster than a jet. And when I want it to go a tiny wee faster, it crawls slower than a heavily pregnant snail....one thats about to deliver triplets!

Anyway, I guess there is no dodging this an unwanted pile of years; old age will always have a way to irk one's soul even in severe cases of dementia, amnesia and all other memory related illnesses.

So for the fourth time I'm gonna have to try and pretend the horrors of wrinkles and grey hairs do not exist and revel with my son. At least I know I will seek solace in the strong and inviting arms of a winsome 'Jameson' later. That has always been a consolation.

Happy Birthday to my Precious boy! Besides the incessant yapping and crazy mischief, he is such a dote this little animal of mine. xx

Serena struggles into the semis.

Serena Williams perspired blood to get into the Miami semi finals.

The female tennis world number's blazing date with the Chinese ace, Na Li, ended in three long, frustrating sets in her favour.

Na Li denied Serena Williams the comfy cushion of the first set by kicking her hard in the teeth with a 6-4 win.

The two players profusely lost gallons of blood in the second set battling it out. The world number brought out all her monstrous tricks to secure the set in a tie break.

It seemed Na Li exhausted all her effort in the second set and had no more energy left for the the deciding set battle. That must have given Serena a boost for she was just untouchable. She cruised through the set winning it 6-2 to seal the match.

Serena will probably meet her Sister Venus in the semi finals....

Firmly behind Madonna!

Once again Madonna has been on the front pages of almost each and every news paper all over the world after her decision to adopt for the second time.

However, there has been a lot of negative controversy over the issue. People do not think it fair that celebrities are able adopt just like that without going through the whole tiresome process ordinary people do, simply because they float in cash. Many are infuriated and think Madonna should not be allowed to adopt since she is now a single mother after divorcing hubby Guy Ritchie. Others shamelessly accuse her of going through the whole saintly ordeal for publicity reasons. I think these people are just being irritatingly inconsiderate in thinking that way. Madonna surely does not need to adopt a poor Malawian kid just for publicity. She has enough fame to last her a zillion years.

Despite what people think or say, locked or not, publicity stunts or whatever you may call it, the fact that Madonna will give Baby Mercy a life her parents might never even have dreamt of for their daughter still remains. One out of a million poverty stricken children is being given a chance for life; a chance to a brighter future. To hell with the law and all other stupid rules. Madonna should go ahead and adopt Baby Mercy!

Coming from one of the most impoverished countries in Africa, myself, (coincidentaly where baby David and Mercy are originally from) believe me, there are so many children out there whom given a chance, would make brilliant doctors, lawyers, teachers etc. But they have no way out.

These people who think Madonna should not go ahead with the adoption simply because she has no ring on her finger, have absolutely no idea what the word 'poverty' stands for. They have no idea how it feels like to go to bed on an empty stomach. The only problem they have is probably infertility....or maybe impotency.

Ofcourse celebrities are favoured. Money talks! Thats reality. If people like Madge, Angelina and all others who have it in abundance want to share it with one or two less fortunate children, who are we to stand in their way?

So, before any more huge yapping mouths are widely opened to expel rotten rubbish, one important factor should be put into consideration; not Madge being a single mother and looking for publicity, not how unfair this whole system is, but "Baby Mercy's life".

Madonna might be a single mother but she has all the money to give this little girl a life many of us only experience in our dreams and thoughts.