Emotional Stains.

Just in case you are interested, I didn't go to work today.
Yes, I had one of those cloudy mornings and decided to feel sorry for my silly ass at home.
I needed to give my soul a thorough cleansing by having a good cry, alone. Not that it helps much, but it makes me feel a wee better.
After drenching my pillow with salty tears, I drifted into a troubled dreamless sleep.

I am so sad coz I can't seem to wash away certain emotional stains. Am disturbed coz I just can't seem to get past certain unresolved feelings.
The object of my affection is the focal point of my chronically emotional disorder. This object of my desires has grown onto my most vital organ like a malignant tumour, its causing me so much pain.

As I sit here, typing this, a new flood of tears is threatening to pour out. Trying to blink it back is becoming an excruciating test of mental strength.
Why do I even feel this way?
Ofcourse, trying to figure out an answer for that is a total fiasco.
There is no web page I haven't browsed, looking for answers for my condition - a heartache beyond fathomlessness.

All the inspirational quotes, sayings and articles I have read about accepting fate remain meaningless and senseless to me.
When it comes to the "epicenter of my heart", I'm indispensably stuck. I just can't seem to accept its over.......

***some stains we get along life's road are just so indelible they can't be bleached away****