Randomness...

Today I have learnt that life never gives anyone living a full break! Maybe you are thinking, "what's happened to her now?" Well, life is shite! Just when I thought my creativity on page (which for some time has been fast asleep) had finally made that eternal resurrection, just when the muse to pick up a pencil had again settled nicely in me, my stupid computer hard drive decided to have a fatal crashing of its own. I feel so helpless! A good big chunk of my life has been stolen from me: The new project I was working on, my memorabilia, my music...even Insanity Resides on Facebook is gone... I'm DONE for! So done for!! ******* And on top of all the shite, Amy Winehouse's ghost seems to be relishing in haunting me. Last night I had exactly the same nightmare I'd had the night she passed on. I saw Glass pipes, kush, snow, booze, all jiving in the moonlight. Then suddenly came Amy's sad face... I woke up, drenching wet...as if I had spent the entire night swimming in my own sweat. I'm beyond spooked! Now as I write this, Back to Black is playing in the background. I've lost count how many times I've listened to the album since Amy died. It's excellent beyond excellence. But the lyrics are dark, man. They give your soul a blinding smack that leaves your whole life with a tangible shining mark... Why is it that the profoundly talented seem to be more prone to self harm and destruction? Like Billie Holiday, or Brenda Fassie, or Whitney Houston? I wonder what message of significance Amy Winehouse's ghost has for me... If it's my mum sending her because she's posthumously worried about my glue-sniffing habit, then I get it. I'll STOP! ****** Sometime back I decided to turn off my spell check on both my computer (sadly deceased now) and iPhone. This decision was made with an aim to challenge, but also confront the extent of my illiteracy. But today I realise technology has me tightly by the balls. I can't do without any of it. I'm too bloody attached to machines. Well, at least I tried. And failed. Maybe I'll try again one day. I'll probably fail again. But I know I'll fail better then. ****** This is obviously the longest blog I've scribbled since last month. It's because I've been so busy trying to put my second book together. Now with my hard drive dead, it seems Insanity Resides on Facebook won't have a friend. Talking about Insanity Resides on Facebook, it's doing quite well - especially on Amazon. Better that I had ever expected. People who've read it have wondered why I chose to write my first born book in the style it's written in? Almost like a personal diary??? Well, because I didn't want to give anybody a chance to question or scrutinise my dodgy literary skills. Critics do an excellent job of crashing hope in young writers. They are ruthless! So you may say I was a bit terrified... ****** No, I refuse to talk about the riots in the UK Or politics in Malawi No, I refuse to open my mouth about the English premier league and it's heartbreaks... But give me tennis, anytime! The US Open Grand Slam starts on the 29th of August, 2011. I'm getting drunk with anticipation. ***** Finally, JLo back together with Diddy! Damn shame, dame!!! Love is definitely a losing game!