Adult education = Mental illness

I am such an unhappy croc today. And believe me, I have no idea why!
There must be a serious hurricane occuring in my soul... How else do I explain my sombre mood?

Have you ever wondered if animals and plants go through a complex of emotions the way human beings do?
Have you ever sat down and asked yourself if cockroaches fall in love, or have their little hearts broken?
I know this is beyond insanity, but I have an extremely insatiable curiosity. There is so much I want to know, but life only gives me limited access. I want to get inside a frog's mind and feel how it really feels like to have that rough skin...:)
*Ok, enough of the weed-influenced talk*

Well, my intention was to whine seriously about adult education, but just like me, I kind of wandered off the topic. Forgive me!
Yeah, adult schooling...that's one torture I swore on my great grandmother's grave that I was never going to put myself through. But I'm afraid I broke the oath. And I'm sure my great nana is fuming underneath earth..

After a lot of soul-tickling compliments from a lot of people on my writing, I finally made a move to do something about it. To give it a bit of polish..
Big error!!!

I'm doing a degree in English Literature and loathing every ticking minute of it!
Frankly, when I enrolled, I thought it was going to be a smooth cruise in the snow. I thought all I would be required to do to get a distinction was to read a couple of yummy novels...
Little did I know I would come face to face with the ilks of Viktor Shklovsky, Roman jakobson and Boris Eichenbaum who made it their duty
to complicate every thing about Literature. What was the whole point of putting science into an unscientific subject? Was it to make education and life more miserable for us who suck at science? The reason why God created Literature in the first place was because he thought it would be easier for us souls who have no chance with science and its test tubes... But the Shklovskys challenged God and changed all that. Now Literature is more sick than science. More difficult. More challenging...
Ok, I'm disgressing again.
The truth is, I am choking on literary critism, all that formalism, realism, modernism and stuff... I'm so losing my mind! And if you add laundry, a sex-mad husband, a bunch of rascals and a hungry dog to all my literary misery, I'm left with nothing but insanity.

The reason I lose a million sleeps trying to figure out if animals and plants go through the hell human beings go through is because I strongly feel that human beings complicate so much that does not need to be complicated. A human brain is his downfall.
Think of the creation of a bullet..,

Well, I don't know...
But one thing for sure, adult education is not easy. Nor is it necessary when you have a bunch of brats to raise.

So do I quit?
Hell no!
I'm on a mission to prove Shklovsky wrong. I'm on a mission to put back the word "enjoyment" into Literature. Even at the risk of my last shred of sanity.

*Ok guys, I'm just letting you know in advance, the time I finish this degree is also the time I'm gonna get into a mental asylum. Feeding my mind with all those gigantic pages is very detrimental to my mental health*

AMEN !

I really hate it when my heart so wants to scribble and my mind comes up with nothing interesting enough.
My soul is literally disappointed at the moment!

Ok, let's see, has Lindsay Logan got out of prison? How about Paris Hilton, is she still getting stoned out of her brains and forgetting to dress her most private parts?
This is all the writing I can come up with. Can you imagine?
Well....

*My dream of producing a bestseller shelved for now*

I'm now going to concentrate more on the things I'm brilliant at: smoking doobie, neglecting laundry, and fighting with Tich:)

Beyonce not preggers again.

Yoh,, it seems the whole world would give anything to have Queen B (Beyonce) preggers and bear feet in Jay Z's kitchen.
Ever since the sensational pop star got a ring on her finger, everyone has been itching for her to get knocked up.
No chance guys. Beyonce isn't in any hurry to be a mother. And my sister is convinced she is infertile:)

xxxx

I love this time of the year.
It's cold, and I'm broke, but X factor gives me all the reasons to smile.
I got a couple of favorites this year....
But it wouldn't be wise to reveal them yet, only I can assure you that Wagner is in the top 5.
Oh I so love the guy!
Ok, I admit he's got vocal codes of a drunk frog, but he's also got what it takes to make Simon Cowell's life a living hell.
And that absolutely makes me a very happy bunny!!!!

xxxx

The Blue Stallions continue dominating the premier league so impressively. It smells like success for them yet again. Yay!!
Doha WTA championships starts next week, the 25th of October. But minus Serena Williams and her "come ons" due to foot injury. Shame! But I'm still going to watch....

The trapped miners.

Today Chile and the entire world celebrate the lives of the unfortunate miners who got trapped under earth while trying to earn a living.
Imagine two and a half solid months in a dark sweltering dungeon with not enough to eat but plenty to fear?
Imagine not knowing?
And yet I think I have been through hell in my life...?
Well, the trapped miners could teach me a thing of two about real hell!

I love to hate my first Love..

Because after reaching the end of the road, after the tears were cried and dried,
after all was written, said and done,
he still lives inside me.
he still has the firmest grip on my soul.
How that is even possible, I have no clue!

He is the only one in the world I wish I could forget.
And the only one I'd love to always remember forever.
He is the only one I love with a passion so searing,
and the only one I hate with a viciousness so frightening.
Oh how I love him!
And boy how I hate him!

Why did he have to be so damn lovable?
That's a characteristic flaw of unimaginable magnitude..., (being so lovable).
So yeah, I hate him.
Simply because I am unable to erase the times he loved me so unselfishly...
Simply because I'm unable to erase the smiles he put on my face..
Simply because I haven't been able to compare anyone else to him,
simply because he is irreplaceable..
So It's much easier to hate him.
If only it wasn't so difficult...
Cuz even as I hate him with all the viciousness my soul could gather, it hurts so bad to know that my heart will beat for him till I kick that old famous bucket.

*une histoire d'amour et triste*

Conjugal Battles: The conclusion.

Hey all you lovers out there,
I had what I call "mind paralysis" hence my inability to finish the battle I started here.

Yes, conjugal battles. That's the definition of a million marriages around the world.
But why?

Simple.
As men are from mars, and women from Venus, their libido levels are also totally different.
Beasts called men are forever on for a romp. All the time. They always have the urge to go on top no matter the situation. And the majority of the fairer sex is satisfied with a mind-blowing loving only a few days a week.
That's when the wars in between the sheets begin.
The man is not getting enough, and he is furious, and the woman is having way too much. She's actually gagging and choking on it!
So he starts whining, and she starts hating.
And the more he whines, the further away her emotions are pushed, ergo, the lesser the love making.

If you are female there's is a good chance you've questioned your sexual health. You've asked yourself, (or perhaps visited a specialist) if you are the only woman who hates her husband and her bed?
Don't worry, you are not alone. And hating your husband because he wants to be forever on top of you is normal.
What happens is, when a woman gets married, she is advised never to deny her husband in bed. No matter how sick, or tired.
I was told by one of my nosy aunties on my wedding night that, "Hannah my daughter, I know you are a hot head and all, but please when you get married, never ever refuse your husband. Or else he will look somewhere else."
I thought that was utter nonsense!
Let me tell you women, "If a man wants to leave you, not even the greatest sex would make him stay.
And if he loves you, no amount of sex starvation is enough to make him leave. A man only leaves because he wants to leave. Period!
Anyway, after all is said and done, sex is important between couples. Married, or living in sin, (cohabitting) you need the physical bonding.
And to avoid heated conflicts and wars in the bedrooms, I advise couples to try their best and meet each other half way especially sexually.
Communication and compromise. Very important in every relationship.
No man wants his woman to lie there like a deceased log whilst doing her. And no woman wants to be done like a prostitute - no emotion, whatsoever.
Sex has to be enjoyed. It's an act of love. At it's best, it's the sweetest act any two lovers can ever engange in. And at it's worst (when only one person is in the mood) it's the ugliest.
Love is real, and marriage isn't that bad. It can even be close to bliss at times.

So all you couples out there, never let sexual misunderstandings ruin your good relationship.
It can and once that happens, turning back the clock is almost not possible.

The End!

Conjugal Battles...continued..

Heyya'll,

If there is one bleak, depressing thing in life (besides biting the dust, of course, but close) that's waiting. It can do a lot of damage to your happiness.
I hope I didn't make you wait for this next blog for too long.

So, I was on about married couples behind locked bedroom doors and sealed curtains.
What really goes on there?
Trust me, it's not all honey, or sweetness, or fructose, or chocolato.....,or whatever kind of sugar you have in mind.

For me to get safely where I'm going with this, the congugal battle front, I have to get to the root of this whole marriage thing.
Why homo sapiens make a heavy decision to live monotonously ever after, for better or for worse.

SEX.

Even though people marry for different reasons, almost all marriages involve sex. Whether accidental, or arranged.
But here I'll focus more on what happens inside the bedrooms of a "normal marriage". By normal marriage I mean the one that takes place after two people of the opposite sex fall head-overheels in love, they can't picture themselves apart. When the cupid's sharp arrow strikes.
*Yeah, love is real, and sex is sweet...until you make a mistake of tying a knot!*

So Here is how the bedroom battles begin:
Its the same old story, boy meets girl, their central nervous systems take an insane turn. Suddenly, they are on a sugary rollercoaster. Stupidly outwitted by the magic called love.
And the kind of love I'm talking about here is the one that comes with the overpowering desire to take each other's clothes off. Sexual..
The sweetness of this love, or should I say sex, breeds selfishness. Boy and girl now want to be the only souls on earth to feel the way they do. And they want the feeling to last forever.
They want to be able to take each other's clothes off any time they desire, for the rest of their lives. The power of sex. It stops one from thinking straight.

So yeah, boy and girl sign the "till death do us part" contract and settle. They are blissfully basking in marital joy. At "it" like rabbits on heat.
Oh yeah, the honeymoon phase. They have all the time love and energy in the world to lovingly "wrestle" each other. But the heavenly phase, unfortunately, only lasts a while...
*until the wife starts hating her husband and her bed*
catch me in the continuing blog next week:)