Smooches...

This is quite upsetting, not to mention unsettling.
PG 25
Anthu akuti ine ndi abambo awa tayamba kufanana...
The most natural kiss!
Rape
The knocked up smooch
The sweetest kiss.
The Laziest Kiss.
The cutest
The most precious

Noone forgets their first smooch! Thats a proven fact.
I remember all my first smooches. Especially the less fantastic ones.
My first boyfriend, the first male I ever kissed, left a tsunami of saliva all over my mouth. It was absolutely gross! Thank my ancestors the relationship only lasted a couple of months.
The second guy I smooched (my girlfriends had nicknamed him Mr Salty lips cuz he always tasted like salt) had an unfortunate combination of big teeth and thick lips. Blame the genes. Our first kiss was somewhere between awkward and unromantic. While I was struggling to get both his lower and upper lip inside my mouth, his giant teeth ended up on mine... And you know very well what happens when two set of teeth meet - a giant quake!
I almost lost my life on my third first kiss. This guy, who was really gorgeous, shoved his long tongue down my throat and all went blank. I was chokimg on somebody's tongue... If I had bitten the dust that day, I would have made it into the Guinness world record book. I lost out on that one.
The fourth guy i kissed had a bush of beard that scratched my whole face. I dumped him a few days later over the phone.

And then there were other smoochers...too average, they didnt make it in my diary. Most of them were one night stands - Ken dolls I'd meet in clubs. I'm a man eater:)
Fortunately, I'm one of the best smoochers earth has ever managed to produce;) (the trumpet has to be blown where its due). But if I werent, and had to pick between being a bad kisser and an average one, I'd go for the former. At least bad kissers make it into memorabilias - bad memorabilias, but a memorabilia is still a memorabilia.

My hubby kissed me the bestest of them all! Thats why I didnt waste time dragging him down the aisle to say I DO. Our first kiss took place on top of the Boyne river. It was sickenly romantic!