The Oscar Night.

What a long starry night last night was. Gong night. The only night that sees a throng of big movie stars sashay on the red carpet.
I never sleep on this particular night. I stay up and watch these revered humans clad in extravagantly pricey outfits, looking all fly, from the comfort of my own home. Then I imagine each one of them on a toilet seat. Doing number two. Then I realise the only difference between me and these people is the balance in our bank accounts. A stupid figure...Lol. Life is not that serious! Spread your wings and fly!!

So the blog "sexual preferences" is long overdue. I'm sorry for the tedious delay. I know how seriously you all love making love, but I've been really busy lately. The next blog coming will be it, and the long wait you've all endured will be worth:)

* The Housewives of WL are back on my screen tomorrow. All my friends have watched the season that's to come on line, but I didn't. It never feels right for me to watch movies or series on anything that's not tv.

*Chelsea vs Manchester United tomorrow. I'm soaked in sweat with nerves-(

A Thirteen year itch.

Infidelity has poisoned and killed an infinite number of marriages and relationships since the beginning of time. For different reasons, most of them that defy logical explanation, people choose to cheat on their loving partners. I'm not going to go into it all. Some things are better left not making sense!

Why am I onto this subject again?
Oh yes, a friend of mine who's been happily (so she thought) married for 13 years with six children caught her husband in bed with another woman. Red handed!
She is beyond devastated!
Wait till I tell you why this dog of a husband risked losing his loving wife of thirteen years, and six beautiful children...
Some people risk their lives for love, others sell their souls to the devil for a few million quid, but my friend's husband risked everything he's ever worked hard for, for ANAL SEX! The end is truly near! When asked by his badly heart broken wife about his philandering, why he did it, this mammal had no shame in saying he had needs that weren't met at home. And that one of those needs included the one mentioned above. Tell me where the logic is in all this?
*SMH*
I wonder if the occupiers of the other planets are as damaged as the ones that occupy earth?

*Sexual preferences coming soon...

The Grammys 2011.

To all my sex-craze readers, I know I owe you a blog about sex. Not to get agitated, It's coming...

Valentine's day quickly came and went. I really have no idea why the clock is in such a hurry. Back to St Valentines, why is the world so bitter about this day of love? First I thought it was only the lonely singles and old rusty married couples who were full of negativity about this day. It turns out almost each and every occupier of earth claims they neither celebrate nor see the point of having valentine's day when they can intoxicate their lovers with love everyday. But is every day valentine's day for sure? All you lovers out there, how many times do you buy your loved ones roses or candy just for no good reason at all? How many times a year do you SMS them just to tell them you love them?

Forget St Valentine. It's now water under the bridge till next year. I want to briefly talk about something else - The Grammy's 2011. More water under the bridge I know, but I can still talk about it, can't I?
Well, its always the same old repetitive goings-on at this most glamorous music award ceremony. Nothing really changes. Sometimes I even wonder why I still watch it. There is nothing to this event, really. Only a bunch of celebrities trying their damnest to outbest each other on that famous red carpet.
And just like all the other 53 years before, nothing new or different at this year's event either. Except maybe for Gaga's incubation... That, I should admit, was super strange! Insane!
Anyhow, my favourite moment was when Jaden Smith had his cute performance with Justin Bierber. I absolutely love the lil fresh prince. He is a superstar! I hate to say this, but last night the Smith's sire totally outshone Usher's 17 year old white protege. No two ways about it. There's definitely no doubt in everyone's eyes and mind that Jaden Smith was "born from two stars and the moon is always where he'll land." But if I were Will and Jada, I'd advise the young lad to refrain from walking on that moon. The last man who did that went totally nuts! I'm sure you've all heard of Wacko Jacko...

*Bruno Mars needs to come out of the closet. Let's be serious here, the guy can't be straight...

Happy Birthday Esie!!!!

Do you have siblings, G? How is your relationship with them? Do you get along like house on fire, or you fight like cats and dogs?
I feel, besides life, the best gift a parent ever gives to a child is a sibling - a brother or sister - a playmate for life.

It's my sister's birthday tomorrow. She might celebrate it in the delivery room. Yes, she is expecting and due any minute, I mentioned it in my other blog.
Anyhow, besides her negligence of family planning, and flactuating sour moods, I immensely adore this person I share DNA with. Every time I look at her, I mutter a silent prayer of thanks she is my sister. I wouldn't have picked anyone else to love and bully:)
I'm glad my parents decided to reproduce one more time after me. My sister was one last precious gift from them for me. Priceless!

*Fingers crossed for foetus' arrival

:(

To all my ardent readers, sincere apologies for my not scribbling as frequently as I promised. Some pressing issues in my life; my first born son brought home "nsabwe" from school. A massive war is in progress between me and the filthy little living organisms. What's their purpose on earth, these nsabwes? They are so damn hard to love...
But I blame our fellow humans with White skin for this particular trouble my son has gifted us with. They are so economic with their baths, therefore entertain a lot of dirt; thus the constant outbreaks of lice in schools. What am I doing so far away from home with the type of human beings I like only a little?

Nsabwe aside, this stupid football club my soul stupidly chose to be a slave for has seen to it that my weekends should be funereal. Chelsea, my dear Chelsea...
Aaaah, Desperate times!
So my dear fans, have a little patience. Right now, besides the nits in my son's hair, I'm still hurting from Chelsea's epic loss at their home ground yesterday. I just need a bit of time to "unnumb" this numb heart of mine. Maybe heal and feel again...

My buddy with bedroom issues informed me a few days ago that her partner finally went down on her...AND, got sick all over the bed.
I can just imagine what a mess it was!
Darn!!!

*Check my opinion on couples and their sexual preferences in the next blog*

Nyash.

Hey G,

Shaaz, the year is on such a speedy cruise...wonder where it's rushing to... Can you believe it's February already?

Anyway, I guess it's pointless to worry about the speed of time especially with all that I have in my life to worry about.

Have I ever told you Wednesday is my least favourite day? Yes, it is. Nothing glorious or productive ever happens on Wednesday. It's all mediocre to a point of sickness.
I never smile on wednesdays. If it ain't the postman I feel like strangling for bringing me bills, it's the animals.
Today has been the worst of all Wednesdays. Orama's best buddy got run over by a car in the neighbourhood. He's fine, no broken bones, but Orama is beyond traumatised. He saw the whole accident when it happened, and can't seem to get over it. I'm thinking of bringing him to a shrink...

Apart from the problems above, I am fine. Both physically and emotionally. I'm never ok mentally. But that never worries me. As long as I can read, write, and strike some interesting convo with the ceiling, nothing else matters. They do have so much to say these walls...
Did I tell you my young sister is in the family way? Yes, knocked up, again. Don't even mention it! It's sick. What happened to birth controls? After she hatches this particular foetus I'm castrating her partner. This world has enough idiots as we talk. My own two, plus her own, plus my best friend's... No need for any more.

You know G, I've never really sat down and thought of what race you are. I know you are a woman. Middle aged, not going through that most talked about crisis as such, but very wise. Apart from that, I know nothing else. There so much mystery surrounding you. Are you White, black, Indian, Chinese?
I so hope you are any other race, but White.
Why?
Because my reason for being here today has a lot to do with White creatures and their inventions, curiosity and more...
A White man is responsible for a lot of sinful acts of this world...a lot of mind corruption.
The issue is, one of my good buddies is going through a rough patch in her marriage right now. I know I shouldn't be blogging about people's private lives, especially my best friend's, but I feel I need to so other couples can learn from it.
It all began with my buddy denying her hubby what this foolish world calls his "bedroom rights". (Which fool started this whole dung of husbands having sexual rights? Total chauvinistic bull).
Anyway, the problem went on for a while before my buddy gathered up courage to talk to me. Why does every married woman I know think I'm the expert when it comes to marriage issues? Maybe I should go into business... start selling my advice...lol
My buddy confided in me that there was zero action in their bedroom and it was taking a toll on their marriage. For real, for real. A subject that has caused too many a headaches, this Nyash. You can just imagine my speechlessness when she mentioned the name. I didn't know what to say to her, or where to begin. I felt like a creature with a serious case of aphasia. But I put on a brave face and tackled the difficult subject like a pro. I told her one or two things I know that do a great job of spicing up stale love affairs. But spice wasn't what my friend needed.
I really don't know if I should continue with this...
Well, since I've already started, I guess I better finish.
To cut the long story short, my buddy isn't happy that her hubby won't go down on her...as in "eating her up"...
She wants to try all these sexual acts and positions and her partner won't meet her half way. Modernism has affected even our bedrooms...lol What would your response be caught in a situation I was caught in? What would your advice be?
Do you think he should grant her her wishes and chow her up?
Is buddy putting the partner in an awkward position by asking for stuff he doesn't believe in?
How do you compromise such a situation?

*The act of lovemaking was simple and straight forward before White man!