Penis Envy??? Nah.

Oh Graceful,

How magnificent it feels to have ears that listen for real!

Today I'm neither going to talk about world cup, nor tennis. The two subjects have become too weary, it's exhausting to even think of them right now.
I'm here to loudly whine about the lazy man I married, and all other ungrateful flat-chested creatures with facial hair.

From a very young age, I noticed how my parents treated my brother differently from my little sister and I. Whilst he was allowed to stay outdoors as late as he prefered to, my poor sister and I would get a good hiding if ever we missed curfew by a few seconds. "munalikuti, simmaona kuti kwada?" the kind of questions girls get bombarded with when they get home late.
My brother was granted permission to be lazy, while us the girls learnt how to cook, clean and wash our undergarments.
For some reason, my sister never seemed to be bothered by the fact that my parents treated my brother like royalty, and us the girls, more like loved slaves. She would unconcernedly do all her chores and came home in time without making any noise.
I, on the other hand, was a harder nut to crack. I never understood why my brother, who was the eldest among us, did not do dishes, or wash his own underwear. Being a girl felt like one gigantic punishment. All I wanted was fair treatment.
Things were worse at school. It was the girls responsibility to have the class tidied before lessons. The boys would just conceitedly strut in like jesuses. Damn, that hurt so bad! And it hurt even more that the girls chose to suffer in silence. I felt so let down.

From dinasour years, the Human female species has always been associated with inferiority. In fact, it has been regarded as inferior. Always been the one to be taken advantage of, abused, looked down upon and made to do all the work men wouldn't do. Why? The human female species
itself is to blame for the male superiority in this world. A man's stinking ego is instilled in him from the day of his conception in the womb. Womens
suffering start in families. Male children are treated differently from females ones all over the world. Africans, Indians and Asians are the
worst when it comes to looking down upon the female sex. Boys are taught the art of laziness, they are never born with it. Their egos are
inflated to a bursting point all their growing lives by their fathers and mothers. And when they become men, they carry the stinky egotistic
attitudes with them wherever they go. Into classes and offices. And when they get married, they expect the same exuberant treatment their quaint parents gave them all their lives from their wives.
If only families would treat their children equally regardless of their sex, if only female kids would stand up to their old fashioned families and society about fair treatment..., really, this world wouldn't at all be called a mans world.
I remember one time my mum asked me to make tea for my dad. I asked why she never asked my brother to do anything and she told me in no uncertain terms that the
reason she always asked me and not my brother was because I was a girl and one day when I got married, I would be making tea for my
hubby. I told my mother point-blank that if that was the case then I would never get married.

Why, why, why?
What's so special about being a man, really? Is it the penis?
I tell you, the whole 13 years I spent with my dad, I never, not even one day, saw him cook or hold a broom to clean the house. He was like a shrine in the house.
He would give problems about his bloody tea, and whether his nsima was well done or not... Such a brat! I loved him to bits, but did not get myself to understand why he couldn't make his own bloody cup of tea.

I don't know if it was the hurt and pain that my parents caused me by giving my brother special treatment because he was a boy, but growing
up, I never gave a second thought about becoming a wife one day. I was forever refusing to be a pretend bride, unlike most young girls who would be on each other's throat for the part. Even when I fell hard in love with this boy in my school, that dream, most girls have, of lavishly walking down the aisle and living "happily ever after" never crossed my mind.
But by default, one Friday noon, I found my feminist ass walking down the same aisle i never dreamt of saying "I do". Unbelievable! I'm sure an earthquake occurred some place..
However, I told myself that an insurmmountable situation might have dragged me into an institution I didn't understand, but I was never going to be any man's doormat. I promised myself I wasn't gonna change even for love. I wasn't gonna be that kind of woman who'd go an extra mile doing things she doesn't believe in just to please a man. I was going to compromise, yes, but no way was I going to lose my feministic principles.
I told myself the man I had chosen to marry was going to be my best friend, my partner and my lover, and not my BOSS! I was going to love, respect and listen to him, but he was also going to do the same for me.
For some reason women lose their identity once they get a ring on their finger. Very sad indeed!

I don't know if it's the feminist in me, but I refuse to cook or do laundry when I'm tired. I refuse to have sex just to please my husband.
And believe me, all this has nothing to do with penis envy.

For me, marriage is a give-n-take game. Both husband and wife should give and take equally - meeting eachother half way.