Cockroaches.

Really and truly, cockroaches have absolutely no manners. Actually, of all living creation, they should be the most mannerless.
And then I wonder: why would some human beings, with all the intellectual capabilities in possession, ever want to behave like cockroaches; demented, ill-mannered cockroaches, for that matter. How is that even possible?

How I missed you....

My darling Graceful,

I can't believe how long it has been since I last paid any attention to you, my most patient,most loyal, most forgiving......(I could go on with the best adjectives in your honour) friend. I am truly sorry. It certainly wasn't my intention to go on such a loud pause for so long, I just have been lunatically busy for the past few days. But I so missed you!

Not much has happened in my life so far. I know the last time I communicated I was in tears about PMS from satan's place of origin. Well, you should be delighted to know I'm alright, now. My abnormal hormones are at their best behaviour, therefore, no irritability, confusion or tears. My unpredictable emotional barometer has also made an effort to keep some peace, at least, thank god!

Graceful, have you ever been in a situation where you feel happy, but at the same time sad?
Orama starts big school next week; thats the whole pleasant, but not-so-pleasing story...
I've forever waited for my boy's first day of school, first day in uniform...., but now that that first day is imminent, I can't help feeling overwhelmingly teary. I feel like am willingly sacrificing my little boy's innocent ass to evil school bullies. Oh, dear, why do they have to grow up so fast?

Not to be rude, or feministic, and you probably don't think so, but all men are pathetic hypochondriacs! There is only one cause for their Hypochondria and thats; LAZINESS.
Men get headaches when asked to do dishes, diarrhoea, whenever its their turn to do laundry. And once the old domestic story touches a babysitting base, men go on temporary coma (as if they never enjoyed the baby production process).
But have you ever noticed all the time they are supposed to be sick they never refuse food? Not even once. "Koma odwala samadya". And any slight mention of the two following mannerless nouns: sex and alcohol, ha...... they'll jumpstart their lying, lazy backsides out of coma faster than an angry breeze. Some creatures indeed!

Anyway, dear, I gotta go.
I'm all yours come next week. Tennis starts on Monday, the 31st, so you know I will for sure keep my word.
And by the way, my lil sister is preggers again...........

PMS symptoms from HELL!

INEXPLICABLE; thats the only word that can go in the same sentence with my mood at the moment.
I have no idea whether am angry, or depressed. I haven't the slightest clue where all this irritability is coming from. Gosh, I am more than irritable!
I am unable to scream or cry, but I desperately need to release all this rotten tension that's chewing me up inside. How to deal with all this confusion?

PMS...............

Nothing to display.

I've discovered that am quite a boring writer when my life is going smoothly. Ok, my being overly tearful scare a multitude of cockroaches, but it surely brings out something interesting on page.

I've been stuck on this page for a good half an hour, trying to add words together, but its as if my mind has been frozen...

I'm sick of writing about Wacko Jacko - the late king of pop. (I read his corpse is lying there noseless after some freaks decided he didn't need his famous breathing 'instrument' in heaven...(or is it hell?)
Maybe MJ was never meant to have a nose!

Anyway, I've worked so hard to grow my nails so am not gonna bite them inorder to come up with a sensible article.
This can go to hell for all I care......

***slowly recovering****

Happy Birthday Titch little!

Jaysus, the heartless Mr old age always has a way to get to people who fear him the most. Ofcourse am wrinkle-phobic...what do you think?

Anyway, the story is, my littlest man turns two in exactly 24 hours from now. All the cold sweat from trying to forget all about my age goes unnoticed, under the bridge.

These little animals we painfully give life to always make sure one "onekelaz ng'amba ndi ukalamba" (I don't know how to Englishize the quoted sentence....sorry to all who can't get it).

Anyway, I am having mixed feelings about Titch little's birthday. I am happy he is finally getting out of nappies, over the moon about retiring from evil bottles, but at the same time, am sad coz my baby is growing up. Soon he will be as cheeky as the other animal who thinks being 4 is all that....

Very soon I will be whacking his evil, silly little ass, and believe me, I aint lookin forward to it.

Tj, born on the 30th July 2007, is the most adorable little creature I have ever set my eyes upon. Born at exactly 34 weeks like his big brother, he was really tiny but very perfect. I remember him screaming his lungs out soon after I pushed him out. When I looked down at him, covered in blood and guts, I thought he was a cute, but intensely irritated baby frog....what with all the brain piercing screams...?

The nurses quickly covered him up and rushed him to the premature ward. When I saw him again in his incubator a few hours later, in tubes, I couldnt stop myself from crying - tears of joy ofcourse. He was so beautiful everyone thought he was a little girl. The doctors were very impressed with his progress they allowed him home after only 3 days (his brother spent two weeks in the same neonatal unit).

My little Tick is such an angel - a joy to look at after a joyless day. He can be stubborn at times, and has a temper of a red chilli pepper. But he is also so sweet he would make honey tastes like quinine. If you see him among his friends, or with his brother and cousin, you can't help but notice how different he is....he's got a certain inexplicable aura to him that attracts people's attention.

Tj makes even the most metal-hearted person smile.

Happy 2nd Birthday my angelic little boy!

Remember mum loves you always.

Congrats to the "Feds Express"!

The word 'rarity' comes with everything that has the name Roger Federer on it. On tennis courts, he does not only break his opponents hearts, but also legendary records. And when it comes to natural reproduction, he does it in doubles.

The Feds became a father for the very first time to little twin girls on thursday, the 16th of July. Surely, tennis extraordinary talents of tomorrow. I bet he is over the moon!

He better be for soon he will be on court with puffy eyes from lack of sleep due to the joyful bondages that will accompany his gorgeous pack of two.....the likes of midnight screams and bottle feeding..... lol.

Congratulations to the legend!

Too tired to comprehend.

Today is one of those days when my emotions seem to get the better of my being. Yeah, same old story......
I wish I could just numb my senses and never feel this pain ever again.
I am an emotional time bomb. I blast any time, any place.

I can't cry no more, for my tissues responsible for the production of tears are all dysfunctional from working overtime for far too long.
I have never been so helpless in my life!
Everytime I feel like I've finally got to the bottom of my condition, there comes another reminder......
My heart gets heavy like a tonne in my sternum. I literally can feel this sharp piercing pain deep in my soul caused by regret over lost opportunities.
I just wanna hurdle into a ball and forever cry this pain away. I wanna be free. I wanna be able to look back and not feel like am being cruelly scalded with overboiled cooking oil.....make it acid...

But despite this lumpy form of unhappiness thats buried within me, I still have to continue living. I still have to smile even when my heart is drenched in bloody tears.
How much longer can I carry on with this pretence? I am dangerously running out of energy to go on. It gets harder by the day.

So far I've realised that the unnerving grief one goes through after losing a loved one to death is unbearable, but it gets better after some time.

But how do you mourn a loved one who is still breathing? How do you get them out of your life when they have been there for so long? How do you cut that emotional attachment that won't give in to the sharpest sword? How do you get yourself to forget....? And how do you move on when your soul is still stuck in the past?
I wish feelings were like light switches.......