Why I have so few exes?

There's one thing I never get tired of thanking my parents for: Their gift to me of a sister.
She is the most beautiful being in the universe. She is also my bestest friend. We have our few tiffs now and then just like normal humans do - some of them really serious - but that has never interfered with the strong bond we have. It gets tighter every day.

Last night this lovely sister of mine and I were having one of our lengthy phone conversations we always have that annoy so many creatures of earth. We spoke for hours about our parents, grandparents, we spoke about our stresses while growing up, our highs... And then we spoke about exes. Yes, as in ex boyfriends.
She told me how she and one of her exes would drink all night and sleep all day. She also told me how she broke another ex's nose while on the piss. I told her how my ex and I would walk long distances to nowhere like destitutes...
Now, this is the question my sister asked me while having our talk that prompted me to write this post: "But Hannah, how come your list of exes is that short, how come you got so few of them?"
I didn't know what to say to her then. Truthfully because I didn't know the answer to the question.
But while I lay on my bed later reminiscing about the past, suddenly all was clarified in my head. The reason why I have so few ex boyfriends isn't because I'm such a hard nut to crack, no. It's because I'm one of those few human beings who never get into a relationship minus a spark of love. To people like us love is so serious a business there is no room for experimenting and breaking hearts in the process. I learnt from my first relationship that you can't force yourself to feel what you don't feel. It has to happen involuntarily or else it's all wrong. I didn't get it right in my second relationship either. But at least I'd learnt then not play with people's feelings. I realized early enough that I didn't feel what I was meant to feel so I got out of the relationship in time before causing any irreparable damage to some heart. It was my third relationship that eventually taught me how it really feels like when you finally get it right. There was no mistake there. It was just like hitting an anaconda's eye with an arrow from a thousand miles away. At times I even felt like the relationship was too perfect to be right. But it was just right! I didn't have to make an effort to love. Or sweat profusely to feel. Unfortunately it didn't last. So much unpleasantness may have occurred, so many wrongs, but I will always be thankful the relationship lasted long enough to teach me how it truly feels like to grasp love in your hands and cherish it forever.
I rang my sister this morning to give her the answer. She didn't understand. Just like she always doesn't understand. She called me a freak and other weird names. But I don't mind. She is what she is, and I am what I am. At the end of the day we try and understand each other...

Upset for days!

My Rafa Nadal out in the second round of a Grand Slam?
That's just too hard to bear!

***crying for days!

Weirdness in dreams...

It's the third day of Wimbledon, I don't know if it's the excitement of all the slamming, but my dreams have taken back the weird lane. An extreme weird lane, that I'm starting to doubt my sexuality. Last night was really freaky!

I dreamt I had met Alicia Keys in flesh. Yes, the same Alicia Keys... We were like the best of buddies in the dream. She came to my place for a hangout, and I suggested we go and just chill in the blankets. Just the two of us, doing nothing. She agreed right away and we made our way to my room. Weird, right? Anyway, she was with baby Egypt, and I took him from her and put him to sleep in his Moses basket which was on the bedroom floor just beside my bed. When baby Egypt was asleep, I took off my clothes and joined Alicia on the bed. She was already inside the covers.
The moment I got beside her and covered myself, Alicia started touching me in the most sensual way I've ever been touched by a woman or man. I instantly felt this powerful love shock bolting through my body straight to my soul. I was melting all over like a microwaved chocolate. Though I didn't understand what was happening, I liked it so damn bad and couldn't resist touching Alicia back in the same sensual way. And darn, what my exploring hands discovered during their exploration... You'd never believe it! Alicia Keys actually had a man's weapon... A man's weapon as in a man's 'private part'. Instead of getting a jolt of my life upon the unbelievable discovery, my excitement went up a gear. There was no turning back. I actually teared Alicia's expensive clothes off and could not wait a second longer for the inevitable finish...

Dear, what a crazy dream!
After trying to decipher it for hours this morning, I'm actually wondering whether one of my alter egos is lesbo still afraid to come out of the closet...
Or maybe I am lesbo...

Forget you read this post! Let's move on to Wimbledon!!!!

Wimby 12 Day two

Serena Williams through to the second round. Yay!!! At least the French Open "bad" history didn't repeat itself at Wimby :) That would have been unbearably devastating! As the old saying goes; once bitten, twice shy...

Andy Murray demolished Nikolay Daveydenko in clean straight sets. The Russian seems to have a lot bugging him on top of his badly receding hair-line. Perhaps a toupee would solve his life, and his game.

***Anyhow, the most important news is that Serena survived casualty.

I'm off to my lovely blanket now.
See you tomorrow!

Wimby 12 Day one

The slamming has slammed off in the city of London today. Wimbledon, that's what it's called - the poshiest, not to mention classiest, slam of the year. Every tennis player wants to win Wimby. It's the only slam that carries a lot of distinction with it. A high caliber of some sort.

Here is some of the action that took place at the poshy greens:

Sharapova through in straight sets.
Clijsters through in straight sets.
Djokovic through.
The Feds through.

***Venus Williams; disappointment of the day :(

"Over my Shoulder"

"Looking back, over my shoulder, I can see that look in your eyes, I never dreamt "it" could be over. I never wanted to say goodbye..."

Listening to the sweet sounds of Mike and The Mechanics whilst I wait for sleep to drift me away to that beautiful land of dreams.
What is it about music that soothes even the most bruised of souls?
What is it about a tune that mends the most badly shattered of hearts?
What is it about a song that's so timeless?

Mike and The Mechanics takes me way back to my pre-teen years. When I had my first serious crush and believed he felt the same way about me too. Only to realize later, after I'd made a bafoon of myself, that he was actually in love with my best friend who was older and a zillion times cooler than I was. God was I so bruised!
The track Over my shoulder brings be back to the exact moment when my budding heart was heartlessly minced.

The thing about Music is that it's got a life of it's own different from all other lives on earth. Music has all the senses a human being possesses, plus a pulse that never weakens with time. Music never ages!
Music never dies!
Music is magic!

Getting ready for Wimbledon

I've always said if the the world is to end, then it should at least do so after Wimbledon.
I love this tennis event so much it's impossible to imagine it not being a big fun part of my life.

It's been a while since I scribbled. That's because I haven't been feeling so well lately. Something to do with my heart - it's failing. Or perhaps I should say it's misbehaving. Busy racing at about 120 beats a minute. That's just insane. I might not make it through the year. But I'm not afraid. At least not anymore. I no longer think kicking it is that petrifying. I'm just sad that I'll have to leave my beautiful "seeds" behind. And my beautiful alcohol... And my beautiful man... Anyhow, that is that. Death will eventually knock on each and every one of our doors. There is no escaping it. I just hope it knocks on mine after Wimbledon.

Jah Rastafari!!!

Sandra's Nuptials