Breaking up...

My darling XBox 360, This is possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do since my messy, scandalous break up with the Wii. Oh my, how can I forget the tears I caused playstation 1 after he found out I was messing around with his younger brother, playstation 2, behind his back... That was very uncool! Anyhow, let me get straight to the point here. I wish there was a much easier way to do this. But there isn't. Unfortunately! XBox 360, I'm really really sorry but I'm severing our amorous ties. I sincerely wish things were different, that I didn't have to do this... You'll always have a special place in my heart! Hannah. *** No no no no, Hannah! Tell me this is one of your horrific, stale jokes. You can't break up with me... You just can't! I love you... Come on... You and I... We love each other... You know I'm not like any of the others you've been with. I'm not one of the Sony guys. I am me; XBOX 360. A product of microsoft. The best in the world! And you love me... Please Hannah, don't do this to me... I'm begging you! Yours always XBox 360 *** I really wish I was joking, XBOX 360. I really wish I was! Hannah *** What is it that I've done wrong, my darling? Tell me, please. We can talk it over. We can sort it. It's you and me, remember? Nothing is ugly or bold enough to break us... Yours, XBOX 360 *** *No reply from Hannah* Come on Hannah, what is it? Is there someone else? That Sony guy, playstation 3? Is it? Please tell me it's not... Anyone but him... Yours XBOX 360 *** I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. Hannah *** So I was right, it's the pampous playstation 3 who you've been seeing behind my back? Goddamnit, you didn't even have the guts to tell me face to face? The whole world must have thought me a downright fool! How long has it been going on, Hannah? How long? *** I didn't plan this, ok? I fell in love... *** Ha ha ha! Love? Darn! If only you knew the real meaning of the word love! He will never love you like I do, that playstation 3. He's just like his brothers...SCUMS! They may look tough and poshy outwardly but I'll always be the best inwardly.