Beyonce the Schemer!

Is it just me, or has christmas arrived a little bit earlier than usual this year? I don't know, man... Perhaps it's the global recession that has given time its wings... Perhaps it all has something to do with my heavy fall out with Santa last year. Well, whatever it is, it's insane! So yeah, the long-white-bearded-big-guy-in-red and I had a little misunderstanding after he got me cutlery for Christmas last year, and the year previously. I passionately despise cutlery! And I think for Santa to get me that two Christmases in a roll was pure inconsideration. I almost choked on my wrath trying to swallow it when I opened my beautifully sealed presents. Now you know why I'm moaning about Christmas arriving early. It's because I'm not expecting anything special. Santa is so over me, and I so over him. The guy is lucky he didn't get a good beating the two previous Christmases. He surely deserved it. Even worse. *** I've known clever, calculating artists in my lifetime, but Beyonce grabs the largest cake! Damn, the chick is one massive schemer! When she realized her latest album, 4, had flopped in the charts, she quickly dived onto plan B. Head first! And plan B was announcing her pregnancy at the VMA's - in front of a million viewers. And I thought she was a private person!!! Well, it gets even better. Now that the Crazy In Love bootylicious singer has been snubbed at the Grammy nominations, she makes another confusing announcement. Apparently her most awaited foetus will actually be arriving in December 2011, and not March 2012 as previously mentioned. And the question is; is she pregnant for real? Where are the surrogate and "prosthetic" pregnancy rumors coming from? The last I heard, there's no smoke without a cigarette. Well, I guess only Bey knows whether she's really expecting or not. Well done Mrs Carter! Scheming doesn't surpass that. (And if she's truly in the family way, I hope the foetus doesn't look like its father. For its own good) *** I saw Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn today. The love between Bella and Edward is so flipping intense! I didn't know vampires could love with such scorching desire. I'm definitely disappearing to the remotest valley of the universe to search for my own vampire. I burningly long for a love so vehement. A love that's out of this world...