Nothing's real but LOVE!

To Santa

Dear Santa, I know you and I have had our differences...but I'm willing to put the unpleasant past behind us and become friends once more. Of course, on condition... Oh yes, in this brutal recession everything is conditional! So, for me to allow you back into my life again, I'll require the following: 1. Amy Winehouse's Lioness Unleashed 2. Nathaniel Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter, or any other classic novel that I haven't yet read.(You are Santa Claus, you'll know which books I have and haven't read without being informed). 3. Make this one a surprise :) Something small and meaningful... NB: No perfumes, no make-up or any sort of toiletries, and absolutely NO KITCHENWARE!!! Or wool and knitting needles!!! Love always, MsLecter!

Endings...

They are sad. They are bitter. They are empty. Endings... They are also a significant part of our existence. For everything that exists must sooner or later end. I see year 2011 is very serious about ending. It can't wait to take its final breath. Well, it's ok. Ok, I'm lying. It's not ok. Endings are never ok. But it's ok not to be ok. Especially when we are about to say goodbye. 2011 has been amazing. And not so amazing. The ups and downs, the smiles and frowns, the laughter and the tears... We mazed through them all. The race through life continues... So before this grand year we've had finally closes its eyes forever, I'd like to convey my grandest gratitude to all my followers, my readers, particularly those in United States, Germany, Russsia, Latvia, Australia, Ireland, Uk, South Africa, Malawi and India: You've been a great motivation! I'd still blog without you, but it's always amazing with you. I'd also like to thank everyone who went out of their way to purchase my debut novel; Insanity Resides on Facebook. It felt incredibly great to know that there are souls with pure constructive critism. Finally, if there's anyone I've unwittingly hurt or offended with my writing, my most abject apologies. Let's bury all grudges and hate under a fathomless pit of 2011. A great Xmas to you all... And of course, a productive 2012!!!

ManUrinated et ManShite...

There are only three things I take very seriously in this not-so-serious life. That is: 1. Hating venomously on Manchester City FC. 2. Rejoicing in Manchester United FC's misfortunes. 3. Laughing at Arsenal FC and its Wenger for no good reason at all. That is all! Right now I'm doing number 1 and 2 of the above. "Very seriously" indeed! Especially after the champions league saw both the two Manchester football clubs out in the knock out stages last night. Oh, the joy!!! And I've also taken the opportunity to laugh at Arsenal and Wenger. "Very seriously" indeed. For no particular reason. Thank you!

Beyonce the Schemer!

Is it just me, or has christmas arrived a little bit earlier than usual this year? I don't know, man... Perhaps it's the global recession that has given time its wings... Perhaps it all has something to do with my heavy fall out with Santa last year. Well, whatever it is, it's insane! So yeah, the long-white-bearded-big-guy-in-red and I had a little misunderstanding after he got me cutlery for Christmas last year, and the year previously. I passionately despise cutlery! And I think for Santa to get me that two Christmases in a roll was pure inconsideration. I almost choked on my wrath trying to swallow it when I opened my beautifully sealed presents. Now you know why I'm moaning about Christmas arriving early. It's because I'm not expecting anything special. Santa is so over me, and I so over him. The guy is lucky he didn't get a good beating the two previous Christmases. He surely deserved it. Even worse. *** I've known clever, calculating artists in my lifetime, but Beyonce grabs the largest cake! Damn, the chick is one massive schemer! When she realized her latest album, 4, had flopped in the charts, she quickly dived onto plan B. Head first! And plan B was announcing her pregnancy at the VMA's - in front of a million viewers. And I thought she was a private person!!! Well, it gets even better. Now that the Crazy In Love bootylicious singer has been snubbed at the Grammy nominations, she makes another confusing announcement. Apparently her most awaited foetus will actually be arriving in December 2011, and not March 2012 as previously mentioned. And the question is; is she pregnant for real? Where are the surrogate and "prosthetic" pregnancy rumors coming from? The last I heard, there's no smoke without a cigarette. Well, I guess only Bey knows whether she's really expecting or not. Well done Mrs Carter! Scheming doesn't surpass that. (And if she's truly in the family way, I hope the foetus doesn't look like its father. For its own good) *** I saw Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn today. The love between Bella and Edward is so flipping intense! I didn't know vampires could love with such scorching desire. I'm definitely disappearing to the remotest valley of the universe to search for my own vampire. I burningly long for a love so vehement. A love that's out of this world...

Breaking up...

My darling XBox 360, This is possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do since my messy, scandalous break up with the Wii. Oh my, how can I forget the tears I caused playstation 1 after he found out I was messing around with his younger brother, playstation 2, behind his back... That was very uncool! Anyhow, let me get straight to the point here. I wish there was a much easier way to do this. But there isn't. Unfortunately! XBox 360, I'm really really sorry but I'm severing our amorous ties. I sincerely wish things were different, that I didn't have to do this... You'll always have a special place in my heart! Hannah. *** No no no no, Hannah! Tell me this is one of your horrific, stale jokes. You can't break up with me... You just can't! I love you... Come on... You and I... We love each other... You know I'm not like any of the others you've been with. I'm not one of the Sony guys. I am me; XBOX 360. A product of microsoft. The best in the world! And you love me... Please Hannah, don't do this to me... I'm begging you! Yours always XBox 360 *** I really wish I was joking, XBOX 360. I really wish I was! Hannah *** What is it that I've done wrong, my darling? Tell me, please. We can talk it over. We can sort it. It's you and me, remember? Nothing is ugly or bold enough to break us... Yours, XBOX 360 *** *No reply from Hannah* Come on Hannah, what is it? Is there someone else? That Sony guy, playstation 3? Is it? Please tell me it's not... Anyone but him... Yours XBOX 360 *** I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. Hannah *** So I was right, it's the pampous playstation 3 who you've been seeing behind my back? Goddamnit, you didn't even have the guts to tell me face to face? The whole world must have thought me a downright fool! How long has it been going on, Hannah? How long? *** I didn't plan this, ok? I fell in love... *** Ha ha ha! Love? Darn! If only you knew the real meaning of the word love! He will never love you like I do, that playstation 3. He's just like his brothers...SCUMS! They may look tough and poshy outwardly but I'll always be the best inwardly.