Questions.

Hey G,
I'm gonna have to call you that from now onwards. Graceful takes up too much space on my page. And I need every bit of it for my rage...lol my raging sage, I mean. Besides, G is kinda cute:)
Anyway, my mind is a simmering volcano of questions this morning. I tried to tweet them but you know how economic twitter is with it's characters. Very frustrating! But I'm glad I have you. Unlike twitter, you are generous with your space.

I was thinking about this thing called love when I woke up this morning. That I still haven't reached it's core yet to fully understand it. And its getting really lame. All I know is that at one point in your life, a certain homo sapien comes your way and turns your heart into porridge. That sounds dorky, doesn't it?

But regardless of how stupid love seems and feels, (you know the whole rapid heartbeat thing, the scary feeling of feeling like you might poo in your pants after seeing the one that has your heart, and the whole making a fool of yourself by doing things you never did before just to impress...SUPERLAME!) it still remains a puzzle that needs to be completed. The world mysteriously revolves around love.
But does it truly exist, love, or is it one of those mysteries our minds refuse to give up believing?
I always try to convince people that love is a true fact. That I once came vis-a-vis with it. But did I, really, or was I just under some strange spell?
But what was it that made me want to dance around nude whenever I thought of him?
What was it that made me cry whenever I missed him?
What was it that turned the pit of my stomach into a play ground of butterflies whenever I saw him?
If that wasn't love, as Jennifer Hudson asked in one of her tracks, then what the hell was it?

People say when you love someone deeply enough, you'd never hesitate to move immovable mountains, cross 'uncrossable' oceans and seas..., bring the moon and the stars for them. That, G, is what puts doubts in my mind about whether I truly had a taste of this rarity called love. Every time I try to convince myself that I did, my mind gets back to all mentioned above.
The truth is, I gave up before I even tried to move Everest for the one I loved. Or thought I loved.
But had I dared try, could I have moved it, with my chicken stamina?
Moving on to crossing the Irish sea...., that I failed to do too.
But If I were to put on my sexy swim suit and found my way to the salty Irish waters, would I have made it to the other end without drowning or being feasted by sharks, or both?
And the idea of going all the way to space to extract the moon from it's orbit for my boo sounded a bit like an impossible grade 1 adventure. Plus, it was going to be tough persuading mr moon to come along with me. So I ditched that too.

What do you make out of all the above failures?
What do you think?
That I should have tried harder?
That I should have worn a braver spirit and risked the sharks?
Do you think the reason for me failing to try had something to do with the fact that I didn't love deeply enough?


*ndiye iwe Chelsea uluzenso lero...*