Jehovah Witness advocates have been frequent visitors of my household for the past couple of years. They are the only humans who've stood at my door step more than a hundred times, or close...that's if my calculation serves me correctly. These people have also broken a record of violently ringing my door bell more times than any other creature who's ever rang it. I rest my case a long time ago. The guys' persistence is a bit on a petrifying side. Very inhuman! Even for true advocates!!!
From the first day the godly guys graced my doorstep, I've lied I can't speak the Queens Language properly, and that I don't own the house. They know me as just an illiterate babysitter from Malawi. (Don't you start with preaching to me about lying being a sin. I know that already. And I'm fully prepared to burn in hell...).
So every occasion they've visited and found me, I've always repeated the very same untrue phrases: "Me babysitter. No English. Boss not here."
But last night, things took a very dramatic turn!
It was 7pm, and I had just got home from work. I was comfortably clad in my pajamas watching my favorite series in my bed when the door bell angrily rang.
I should have just ignored it!
There they were, my godly buddies...
I was like "Holy Shite"! (In my mind, of course).
This is the verbal exchange we had:
Jehovah witness: "Hi again, Muado (that's the alias I use when dealing with the godly guys. It's slang for "underwear" in my language). Is your boss here today?
Me: "boss, wo...
Before I finished saying the word work, my 6 year old idiot came down the steps from upstairs.
Orama: (while poking me in the back) "Mum, quick, Eastenders is on... come on..."
All eyes were on me...
Then he looked at me, then at the Jehovah Witness and said: "oh, mum, I didn't know you could speak Chinese. Cool."
You can just imagine the weight of my shame!!!
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